3 am Thoughts.

Highschool

I want to walk in the building with a well made outfit, a big smile, and a better listening ear. I want to be more kind and considerate and polite.

Do you want to know what I've done?

I've criticized my appearance and tried on shirts multiple times before I walk out of my room, I make sure to appear happy around others, and I tell myself key words when I'm talking to someone and want to give my input. "Shut the fuck up. No one cares." And I've degraded myself to the point of the only thing useful I can do in this world is be a decent acting human being, no matter what toxic shit my brain thinks of people.

Honestly, I don't feel bad to admit that. Only though because no one will read this. Yay me. An attention seeking bitch.

Anyways, off I go soon to learn in a mental prison a lot of shit disguised as "very useful knowledge" in the stressful, drama soaked environment of highschool. If you see me in the hallways, don't forget to smile.