3 am Thoughts.

Long time no see!

Hi! If you've seen this message then I guess you're one of the most devoted people on this godforsaken site lmao. I won't dillydally too much, but if you have a moment I'd like to say something.

I started this account so I could throw all my thoughts and feelings towards something other than myself. I wanted to share how I felt because, at the time, I was so alone I didn't trust anyone to listen to me. I did have a friend or two who supported and read my writing, but all good things must come to an end.

Anyways, after I was getting constant reads and feedback, no matter how simple, I kept posting for the sake of posting. I didn't care to improve, because then, I had people who wanted to have my words bounce off them. I wasn't screaming into a void anymore. I lost my sense of anonymity, and I need to reclaim that if I want to post more. That's my main reason for not writing publicly anymore.

My other reason is simply because I felt badly about my writing. I wanted to enjoy doing it and write better. Every time I would update something, I would look at the words before and realise I hated it all.

So, I've taken the time for myself and stopped caring about any false obligations, fallen out with some people (which is great writing material lol), and found conscious ways to improve my ability. Currently, I have stockpiled all my poetry and ideas and made plans for a new poetry book (or three, who knows). I want to release my stuff out there in the wild again and hope I get more feedback from it. I might post a couple poems for a sampler and redirect those who are interested onto a new account because some of my books are just fucking cringe and talk about subjects I have no business exploring, for my mental health and consideration of those who have struggled with worse than me.

Basically, tldr, I am scrapping this account, giving samples of my current writing and eventually starting a new account where I will collect all my poems and possible new short stories on to escape my past monstrosities. Expect an update soon :)
~Ally