So, There's an Assassin in My Bed - Kyman (Kyle x Cartman)

eric

[eric's point of view]

i jolt awake, ouch, fuck that hurt. my head is pounding. i look around at my surroundings, and to my surprise there is someone laying next to me.

"oops, shit." i mumble.

i go to sit up, and my head starts spinning. i look at the wall - wait, this isn't my house. i look down, my eyes widen. who stole my pants?! i spot my boxers laying on the floor.

as i stand up to grab them, my head is literally pounding, suddenly my knees give in and i fall to the ground. i reach a lazy arm and grab them,
awkwardly putting them on. obviously with all the noise, the red headed boy; that i assume i slept with, wakes up. "fuckin' stupid knees." i mutter.

as the boy sits up and yawns, he stands up and obviously, not realising i'm sorta lying on the floor with a pounding head and stupid knees; the guy trips over me. "the fuck?" his head snaps towards me.

"hi..?" i half smile.

"who the fuck are you?"

"well, you see, heh.. um,"

"spit it out, chubby." he taunts.

"hey! watch it! i'm not chubby, i'm just kinda big boned!" i frown offended. what an asshole.

he glares at me, "why are you practically naked and laying on my bedroom floor?!"

"because, apparently my drunken mind thought you were attractive and i wanted to tap that ass, so i did." i smirk.

he scoffs, "that's disgusting."

"disgusting but true, heh."

"get the fuck out of my house!" he stands up.

"can i have my clothes?"

he looks around and grabs my jeans, shirt and jacket.

"and my shoes?"

he throws my shoes beside me.

"and your number?" i wink.

"get out!"

-

when i return home - fully clothed - i'm met with kenny, who gives my a knowing look. "did you smash puss?"

butters hits kenny on the back of his head. violence is never the answer, children.

"no, i didn't 'smash puss' the opposite actually."

well, i think. my memories are quite clouded from last night, i remember seeing that boy, flirting for a bit, then going back his house, frickle frackled. then fell asleep, though i can't remember much else.

"oooo, you smashed ass?" kenny smirks, what a pervert.

butters glares at him, "i will break up with you."

although it was an empty threat, something flashed through kenny's eyes before they return to normal. "sorry, i'm a sex addict." he puts his hands up in surrender.

"yeah, i know. trust me." butters mumbles, before leaving the room. i hear their bedroom door slam shut.

"i should probably go talk to him." kenny smiles at me, pats me on the back, then exits the room.

my phone dings in my pocket, i pull it out.

from: sexy kyle

delete my contact thanks, sleeping together was a one time thing.

sent at 12:37 pm

to: sexy kyle

nah, i might need a late night bootycall and you might be the only person available ;))

sent at 12:38 pm

from: sexy kyle

i'm being serious, literally delete my contact!

sent at: 12:38 pm

to: sexy kyle

nah, you seem like a fun person to piss off

sent at: 12:39 pm

from: sexy kyle

trust me, you don't wanna piss me off.

sent at: 12:41 pm

i smirk down at my phone, this could be fun.

-

A/N: HEEEYYYY, WASSSSUPPP CRAZY MOFO

i need to get a life.

buttttt omgggg thank you for nearly 100 reads in like a week, yayyyyy!!!

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cya soon. x