So, There's an Assassin in My Bed - Kyman (Kyle x Cartman)

eric // butters

[eric's point of view]

both mine and kyle's eyes widen, "w-what?" kyle stutters out.

"he took the trash out to the bin and he got jumped," kenny panics, "i don't know what to do!"

"did they leave anything?" kyle asks, he's suddenly gone from jokey and snappy, to emotionless and cold. i wouldn't say this out loud but it was quite attractive.

tears pool kenny's dark blue eyes, "this note, i'm r-really scared."

kenny hands a small piece of paper to kyle, i peer over his shoulder to read it, and in messy handwriting it reads:

you really thought you could hide from us, if you do not return the key, we will not hesitate to sell your little friend in our special market or slit his throat and leave his head on your doorstep. pick wisely.

- your friends, h & h

"who's h and h?" i ask slowly, my brain still trying to wrap around the fact that butters was kidnapped.

kyle turns to me, his face emotionless and stone cold. "happy and halo."

i hold back a laugh, "shit names."

"this is serious! i need butters!" kenny cries.

"happy and halo, they're twins, assassin twins." kyle starts, "happy is more physical -violent, he would rather just shoot someone and get it over and done with, halo is more psychological, as in she will play with your brain, then if that doesn't work then she gets physical."

she? as in... a female assassin? that's a thing?

"yes, it's common for assassin's to be female," kyle looks at me in confusion.

"well? why do they need a key?! can't you take them out?!" kenny screams and suddenly he passes out, like collapses onto the floor.

"heh, now you're out." i say, kyle only sends a quick glare at me. he bends down and grabs kenny's wrist.

"yeah, he's only passed out." kyle mumbles.

"so..."

"go on, ask it."

"are you like gay, gay or like i don't need a label, i'm too cool for that." i ask, kyle spins around, sending a quick glare my way.

"happy and halo have got beef with me, not the other assassin's in the company, just purely me."

"why?"

"well, i hooked up with their younger brother to still a key... now they're all pissed off." he mumbles.

"do they look alike?" i ask dumbly.

"they're identical twins... although they have one difference... apart from the whole halo is a girl and happy is a boy," kyle says.

"what?"

"happy has two different coloured eyes, and halo has piercing blue eyes."

kenny suddenly jumps up from the floor, "i have a plan!"

me and kyle exchange looks, "oh no." we say in sync.

butters' point of view...

i wake up to the sound of quiet conversation, my head is hurting and pounding. "halo! it's waking up!" a sickly cheery voice chimes.

"oh! wonderful!" a feminine voice replies, "shall i call in heaven?"

"of course, he'll want to see his new prey." the male voice chuckles darkly. "oi! wake up!" a hand slaps me across my cheek, i blink my eyes open.

wow, am i the only one seeing double?

the only thought going through my mind was, man, i'm craving tacos.

"oh, he's gorgeous." a new deeper voice says, i gaze over at the voices.

a tall skinny girl stands there, although everything's spinning, i can make out her dirty blonde hair and sapphire blue eyes staring at a broader taller version of herself. the male version of the girl has ruffled dirty blonde hair and two different coloured eyes; one a bright blue and the other a chocolate brown.

the new voice makes his way towards me, he grabs my chin and forces me to look up into his forest green eyes, "hello there, beautiful."

"mph." i mumble, why isn't my mouth working?

"why is he not talking?!" the green eyed boy yells.

"well, he didn't exactly come here voluntarily." the girl rolls her eyes.

"you're on thin ice, halo." forest green eyes warns. she only rolls her eyes and nonchalantly picks at her nails. "what'd you drug him with?"

the girl - halo? maybe? devilishly smirks, "you really wanna know?"

i have a strange feeling i'm not gonna make it out alive.