Changed/solby

part 2

Trigger warning ⚠
Sam's p.o.v.
How could they. I couldn't even think straight
"Don't ever talk to me again" I growled and ran downstairs grabbing my keys tears threatened to spill I heard my name being called but i didn't answer I kept walking to my car i got in my car and sped off.
My girlfriend just cheated with me on my BEST friend what. The. FUCK.
I started crying while driving after hours of driving I pulled over on a side road and just started hysterically scream crying
"Why me. Every. Fucking.time. why can't someone just love me!!!!" I screamed out loud not giving a shit of who heard me. After my little mental breakdown i looked at the time it was 1pm
Man I've been out for 4 hours
My phone was going off the book but I didn't care. I was absolutely exhausted. I sighed and decided to start driving home again.
I stopped at a near by gas station i am. NOT prepared to go back home and face colby maybe I'll move out.
But where will I go?
Maybe Brennen will let me crash at his place.
No colby goes there a lot puls the only reason I talk to brennen is because of Colby.
Um who else.
I honestly got nothing.
Colby and Kat are the only people I go to for these things. my phone going off again I frustratedly answered it
"What the fuck do you want Colby" i said angry not even bothering looking at who it was
"Hey man it corey i just making sure you are alright" I sighed
"Ya I'm fine sorry for freaking out on you "
"Its fine i think you should come home though its really not what you think. " i rolled my eyes and sighed hoping he was right. On my way back I knew if i were to forgive them. I have to tell them my secret almost losing both Kat and colby made me really realize if I'm not upfront with my feelings / who i am I will regret it later. I don't think I can handle never talking to them again. But if they really cheated on me I'll be to hurt to ever face them again I don't know my mind is just everywhere right now. I finally pulled in the driveway after a almost 2 hours ride back home. it is now 3am. I took a deep breath before closing my door and locking my car I walked up to the house and there everyone was sitting and waiting. Colby had tear stained face and kat wouldnt look at me
"Sam what we were trying to tell you was it was a prank none of thid real" I rolled my eyes
"Ya right you are just guilty for what you did and making excuses"
"Sam please come watch the video" I sat next to him watching the video. my heart fell it was all just a prank
"We are sorry...."
"You dont mess with peoples feelings Colby " I wouldn't look any of them in the eye
"I know sam I messed up..."
"I'm going to bed I will talk about this in the morning" I ran to my room and just fell asleep
I woke up the next morning not remembering what happened the night before I had a massive headache I lay in bed for a while as everything slowly came back
"Oh right " I mumbled to myself I rolled over and grabbed my phone it was 12 in the afternoon. I have no intentions on leaving my room today. because that means I could run into colby and i do not want to deal with that.i got a notification from YouTube
Colby Brock posted a new video I rolled my eyes and clicked on it
Cheating prank on best friend**gone wrong
That little fuck posted the video.
I dont know what hurt more. The actual prank or the fact he actually posted it without my permission. I scrolled down there were already a ton of comments
Did you see how hurt sam looked my heart.
I feel so bad for sam
YES YOU FINALLY DID IT
He was so hurt he deserves it he's such a bad friend to Colby
ha sam actually goes to the gyum it does look like it
"You spelled gym wrong" I mumbled under my Breath after scrolling through many hate comments I turned off my phone. it was now 1 wow I did that for a hour. my stomach growled. i need food.
I searched my room in hopes to find something I finally found a bag of already opened goldfish and started to eat them.
fatass you should be working out not eating
After a few I put them up really hating myself. ive struggled a lot with self image that's something no one knows about. I mean I'm skinny and scrawny people would die for how I looked but i still feel fat no matter what I do.
You should cut yourself you fatass
I got thoughts like these a lot. I've never actually self harmed mainly because I'd go to Kat or colby when i started getting the thoughts and they would distract me but i don't have them anymore I reached for the knife I keep becieds my bed cause who knows someone might break in and murder me in my sleep. I took a deep breath As the negative thoughts consume me.
I felt my cheeks get damp i didn't even know i was crying. I stared at my wrist and the knife for like ages. as I made one line across my wrist. the thoughts slowed down. I didn't cut deep just enough to bleed.
Two cuts
There cuts
Four cuts
Every time the negative thoughts got less and less and soon just stopped I sighed and looked at my wrist soon guilt over came me.
I promised Kat I'd always go to someone when i got the thoughts. I always spoke about always thinking positive. and here i am. doing the opposite i threw the knife and ran to the bathroom to clean the cuts. as i was walking out I was faced with a brown hair blue eyed angle.
Colby Brock I quickly hid my wrist
"Sam..." He choked out
Oh god I hope he didnt see....