Changed/solby

part 15

I love reading your guys comments 😂 also school starts in a week on Monday so if i stop updating that is why. I'm going to try and finish this book before school starts but idk if that'll happen because I don't know how im ending it yet

Colby's p.o.v.
It was the next day and I just woke up.
Regret hits my stomach.
You should have fought more
If he's dead it'll be your fault
If he's unhappy.
Its your fault.
Its my fault....
I sighed.
I need to see him.
Nice thing is we can come see them whenever we want
I walked in the living where Arron is
"Im going to see sam"
"Colby its been a day. Give him time to settle in "
"I need to see him Aaron. "
He sighed
"Fine but im coming with"
"Fine im leaving now"
I grabbed my car keys and headed to the car.
It was an awkward drive over but we finally made it.
I walked to the lady at the front desk.
"Hello how can i help you"
"Hi I'm uh Colby Brock this is my friend Aaron Doh I'm here to visit a friend"
"First and last name please"
"Samuel goldbach "
"Ah yes. Follow me"
She left us down a the same hallways she showed me during the visit here
"GOLBACH you have guest's!" She started banging on his door Until he opened.
"You can only visit a hour at a time I'll be by to kick you out. "
She Walks away. he looks horrible
And like he hasn't slept.
"Hey sam" aaron said as well just stared at each other
"He Aaron.....Colby come on in i dont have many places to sit "
Aaron hugged him as Aaron and sam sat on his bed I sat at the chair by his desk.
Aaron and sam catch up.
I couldn't help but feel hate for myself.
his room was cold.
So wasnt his soul.
This isn't the same sammy I left a day ago he's already changed so much.
He tried to lighten up the room.
He had a picture of a rainbow
And he also had a picture of a blue eye with everything happy inside it.
"I like your posters you made"
Aaron said causing me to get out of my trance I was in.
"Thanks. there really isn't much to do here we stay in our rooms most of the time".
We sat in a silence suddenly realizing I haven't even said hi to him
"Uh I'm going to go wait in the car if that's alright colby I need to make a call" I smiled and nodded and he left. only leaving us two.
Again we didn't talk I looked at him fiddling with his hands i sighed and got up and sat next to him on his bed. I grabbed his hand in mine. his body immediately got tense.
"I'm sorry sam"
He didn't say anything.
"Please...."
"you said you had it taken care of" he finally said his voice quite
"I couldn't do anything i tried ok. "
"yes you could colby you shouldnt have signed the papers!!!"
"IT WAS MY ONLY CHOISE SAM THEY WOULDNT LET ME..."
"BULLSHIT COLBY IF THIS WERE YOU I WOULD..." He got quiet
"Exactly you couldn't do anything About it"
He sighed
"I'm sorry for getting angry" he apologized
"Its OK baby i forgive you" he layed his head on my shoulder
"Have you made any new friends?"
I said changing the subject.
"Well I met this one guy who's pretty chill. the rest of them are just like fucking robots "
He got up and layed down on his bed i did the same and i wrapped my arms around his small waist. his shirt pulled up a little bit letting me have access to his lower back. I jolted not expecting him to be that cold
"Jesus sam your Freezing"
"they have air conditioning I swear they put it all the way up to make us even more miserable. "
He only had a thing hoodie on. I pulled away for a second and took off my hoodie
"Here have mine"
"But colby you will be cold"
"Sam. its summer in L.A. the minute I walk outside I will be sweating. just take it please"
He finally gave in smelling my hoodie as he pulled it over his head smiling after
"Thank you colby "
I smiled and kissed his head.
shit.
I forgot I cut last night...
flashback TRIGGER WARNING
I ran to my room crying.
My thoughts began to consume me. not the good one either
He's going to hate you now
He won't want to see you
Your worthless you should have done more
You could have done more you scum
Your fat and ugly sam will find someone cuter there
You should go cut yourself you worthless piece of shit.
No one will notice just do it.
I kept arguing with myself.
I couldn't. I can't do that to sam
'Fuck sam. he probably already moved on'
I got up and got the knife I keep in my Drawer
My hands started shaking
'Do it on your stomach because of how far you are'
'Do it there so no one will see'
I sighed and pulled up my shirt as tears stream down my face.
One slice.
Two slices
Three
Four.
Why is this so addicting
Five
Six.
I couldn't feel the pain. its not enough.
I watched the liquid run down my stomach staning the top of my pants.
I need more.
I need something I can feel.
I looked down at my wrist and took a deep breath.
One slice
Two.
Each one getting deeper
Three
Four
why am I doing this
Five
Why can't i stop doing this.
I go to make my six cut
"COLBY "
Aaron was standing there and watched me cut myself...
Flashback over....
TRIGGER WARNING OVER
I tried my best to cover my wrist.
I guess that wasn't good because he...
"Colby what the hell is this!!!"
He grabbed my wrist and looked at me with complete horror and sadness.
"I..."
"MR. BROCK!! YOUR TIME IS UP"