Protect My Heart

Chapter 6

Clover

"You missed our last session. Is there a specific reason as to why?"

"I spent time with my daughter." It was true. Mia and I spent the day together. We went to the playground where I watched her play. We got some ice cream and stuffed our mouths full. Then we watched a movie together: Alice in Wonderland – Mia's favourite. We also read the book together. I narrated it to her, mimicking the characters. After we lay in bed together, side to side, I relished the feeling of having a daughter. Having someone to love unconditionally.

"How does Mia feel about Logan? Have you talked with her about him?"

"No. It didn't feel right to keep her in the dark, so filled her in. Now she even draws him in her pictures. A child has the right to know about their parents, even if they aren't good people. But she gets confused as to why he's not here. I mean, she's only two, but she's smart for her age."

"It'll get harder to make her understand as she gets older. But have you given thought about our second session? Have you occupied your time with crafts? Have you found your passion yet?"

Smiling shyly, I said, "A bit. I've been exploring."

Yeah, I went skateboarding. Mason came with me, jerking me upright whenever I fell. Together we signed up for some coding lessons online, but that didn't work out. Our group of friends started a book club; we meet once a month, but I'd been struggling with the books. Bella as the big reader, advised me to read shorter books with shorter chapters. It was working, but reading didn't really hold my interest. The only thing that seemed to hold my interest was narrating stories to Mia's playschool kids. Once a week, I read them books, mimicking voices and the kids adored it. I wasn't a reader but reading aloud was something different.

"Okay, so you mentioned that he underwent a rehab program. Did it work out?"

20 June 2018 (Two years ago)

Twenty days passed by in a rush and soon he returned home. I greeted him with open arms, happy to have him back home. The house felt empty without him. That first night, we didn't come up for air. We both showed how proud of each other we were.

He went back to work the next morning, apologizing for leaving me behind. But he was hesitant to go as he waited in the doorway, meeting for another kiss. Throughout his workdays, he bombarded my phone with texts, asking how I was feeling, asking about the wedding. I swatted him away, laughing at his constant worry.

It must've been the month-long separation. And the wedding jitters.

Tonight, we were having dinner with our friends. A sort of rehearsal dinner even if the wedding was weeks away. Logan's idea to have it so early. Elisa showed up early to help me with everything. Everyone else would be there by six, as well as our husbands. We decorated the house to elegancy. We hung balloons from the staircase, roasted chicken and beef on the grill, and lit some candles. Elisa pulled the linen sheet over the outside table. In the backyard, we had a seating area where Logan and I often lounged on a warm day, sunbathing. We'd have some alfresco dining.

Our guests showed up soon and the girls and I met in a group hug. Zoe was the first to exit and see my bump, saying she'd get to name it. Sebastian and Adam tagged along with them. We had some drinks while Sebastian exclaimed about his history papers possibly getting published. He'd already chatted with some editor. Our very own history teacher was getting published. Although they never wanted to marry (Zoe was not that old-fashioned), they worked well together. As a clinical scientist, Zoe had published numerous papers. Maybe she'd cure cancer someday.

Out of the eight of us, Adam and Bella were the shy ones. They hardly talked about their jobs. Bella said accounting was a bore to talk about. Adam was the computer nerd. Hardly anyone in the group knew he'd developed several programs. One included the very popular dating app: Catch A Fish – very original, might I add, but it had tremendous success.