Protect My Heart

Chapter 5

Clover

I stared out of the window, a sour sensation in my belly. Mia played outside with Ellis. My child laughed freely, how happy I longed to be. She also shared a striking resemblance to Logan with her baby-blue eyes and that sharp nose. Same facial features. Her light blonde hair was from me. They shared the same heart too. One time, after begging for ice cream for hours, she finally got it. But seeing my bitter mood, she handed it to me.

I drank my morning coffee as I watched her.

They had that same heart. The heart to love someone dearly.

A flashback appeared from the back of my mind. A memory.

28 May 2018 (Three years ago)

"The room isn't as bad," I said while he scrambled his things around, picking up any dirty underwear. "Hey, hey, don't get all clean on my part."

Logan scooted off the coats so I could sit. As he bent down in front of me immediately, I burst out laughing. He lifted my hoodie, kissing that growing bump. "I love my girls."

"How do you know it's a girl?"

"I just do. I know this body." He pressed his cheek to my stomach, listening in. "She's telling me she's a girl."

I laughed again. "I'm sure she is. But how are you adjusting so far? Have you made any friends?"

Logan shrugged, moving up, and pinning me to the mattress. He breathed into my neck. "It's not a very friendly place. You don't come here to make friends. The only friend I have here is your picture and the shower and my di –"

"Okay, okay, I get the picture." I held him to me, smiling. "What about the rest of the program? Do you feel like it's helping?"

"Yeah. The sessions are a bore, though. I don't like talking about my problems to anyone but you. Besides, the meetings are too early. I slept through one. I did join the yoga sessions though." I grinned at that, not imagining him doing any sort of yoga. "They do help, though. I find that I can recognize the triggers more easily now. Last week, I found that one of them is remembering my parents. Every time I think of my dad, I get this urge to..."

I played with his head, silently saying he didn't have to finish that sentence.

"They urge us to talk to our loved ones, so here I am. But I want to come home. I miss seeing you every day." I emitted a sigh at that. I felt the same, but he was in this program for a reason. We needed all the help we could get, and if seeing each other only on weekends, then that was fine by me. He had to get better. "Twenty more days."

"Twenty more days."

"I'm glad my boss understood," he said, and I tensed at that. His job had slipped both of our minds when I signed him up for the program. Easy to say, that conversation wasn't easy. But Logan's boss was a kind older man who understood his need to get help. Although he didn't condone drugs, especially as an officer of the law, but Logan was one of the best in the field. Instead of an addict, he saw a man willing to better himself for his own good and for the family.

"You're a good man, Logan," I whispered, meeting his mouth in a kiss. "Hm, you taste like mint."

He chuckled. "They make us eat these mints to replace the drugs. I'd never heard of that before."

"Well, you taste very nice."

Logan groaned, moving in for another kiss, but we got disturbed by a voice in the doorway. His long-time best friend stood there with a box of candy. "Am I disturbing a lover's fest?"

We both laughed, separating ourselves to greet Adam. The two friends clasped each other tightly, and I saw the relief on Logan's face. He was so happy to see him. I excused myself to the ladies' room, giving them time to bond. As Bella and Adam lived so far away, we hardly saw them. But as grown-ups, you have to adjust to living separate from your friends. Although distance doesn't change friendships, time does. As well as communication.