Protect My Heart

Chapter 8

A/N:This chapter had me in tears, not even kidding. I was listening to depressing music during this. Sleeping At Last is always a good choice for sad songs.

Clover

On Logan's birthday, I went out on a date. That day was the hardest as memories of him spurred in my brain, like that party in his home when I'd gifted him a new leather jacket. Or how for his twenty-third birthday, I got him Lerman the cat. This fluffy black coloured cat with white spots. Logan picked the name after the actor – no surprise there.

Zoe set me up with a coworker of hers. We went to a fancy restaurant, but I wasn't there. I was back on every date Logan and I went on. He didn't enquire about the wedding ring (Zoe had explained the situation), but he talked about himself a lot. He talked about all the papers he'd published and how he'd be a good financial support for his future wife. He was a nice guy, but he wasn't Logan.

After dinner, I said this wouldn't work out. He was mildly disappointed, easy to say.

Three days later, I went on another date, set up by Bella. Adam wasn't happy about the setup, he kept asking whether it wouldn't be cheating. Bella got frustrated with him at the enquiry. I saw his point, though, as Logan was his best friend. But Logan was gone, he wasn't coming back.

This date ended abruptly. Suddenly, the jerk face who'd been boasting about his 'totally single life' had to go. He asked whether I wanted to go back to his hotel room with him, but I denied. But I caught what he said as he exited the coffee shop: 'She's not worth that STD, anyway'.

Later that night, I heard Bella shouting on the phone to Adam, about how he'd falsely spread that story about me. When asked why he didn't answer. It was out of line on his part, but the abrupt silence after the question struck me as odd. As Logan's best friend, he should've wanted me to be happy, despite his friend's faults. But Adam was adamant about my lack of dating.

Margaret joyfully gleamed when I announced the news of my dates. She'd been all too happy to cancel our sessions for those dates. I didn't get her joy. Sure, it was some progress, but forgetting about someone doesn't work this easily.

"Sometimes you need to figure out that the best people may let you down. Maybe the next guy will stick around."

At her words, I gripped my nails into the cushions of the couch. I failed to clasp the harness that let my lungs breathe, so I slipped into a panic attack. Margaret handed me a paper bag, not amused by it.

Breathing into the paper bag, I cried out, "He left at the worst possible time. I lost him when I thought I'd have everything!"

31 October 2018 (Two years ago)

Damn, the baby was kicking hard today. I rubbed my bump, not able to see my feet even. I was nine months pregnant, so the babies were due any day. When I looked in the vanity mirror again, I spotted Logan in the doorway.

"Can you believe we will have this little monster soon?"

A look unable to detect passed his face. "Two. You're the bigger monster."

I playfully waved him off, pushing my feet into the slippers. "You're worse than me so don't play dumb. I can't believe I married you."

"And why do you think you married me?" he asked, not moving towards me.

"Probably for the sex." He laughed, but I wasn't joking. Well, partly. "You remind me of a rabbit. You want to do it everywhere. Last week in the precinct's restroom, the woods two days ago. Well, that was hate banging as I was up against the tree. Public indecency, I know – we're great at that! Oh, in the car two weeks ago! I remember that because Mason caught us, and –"