The Doodlebook

Bad News...

So um...im sorry if what im going to say will disappoint or upset people but...i need to say it. Kinda. Well i feel the need to say it so yea. Its a list soo fair warning...

Firstly...im so sorry and sad to say this but...im putting my story, Her Kingdom for a Stray on temporary hold up. I just havent been able to feel inspired to write for it in awhile, despite the summer vacation. Not to mention, as of tomorrow i will not have nearly as much free time, despite being graduated, becaise ive got a job! Whovh brings me to our next item on the list...

Remember that in-hoise preschool i told ya guys my nom runs? I painted her Chikka Boom tree for it. Well...because im not going off to college (for reasons not to be disclosed as of right now...) and my parentd still wanted me to work, theyhired me on as a second teacher. So ill be heloing with that alot, and it will eat away at my time...by ALOT. Even if i COULD figure out something to write for HKFS i wont have the time. Peachy, eh? Ill still have days off, but we'll see.

Im trying my best with responding to rps. I really am...but as of lately i havent felt...up to par... with how i should be responding, when im forcing myself to do it. But thats the problem. Im forcing myself to do it at times. And i dont want that for me, OR you guys. You deserve more. You all deserve the best responses, but at the moment i cant give them...
Like updating the stories, im still going to try my best to reply when i can. And you guys can still nag me if youd like, just to keep me from forgetting. Im going to try not to forget...but y'all know me. My memory holds as much water as a strainer...

Guys, this news is the worse on this list. If you are a tender hearted soul like myself, and cant take those sad dog pound commercials without going into a mini depression, then i duggest you DONT READ FURTHER. cause its sad. Hella sad.

Y'all remember this ugly, right?

My grackle chick. (This is his expression to us 24/7. Not fear. Not apprehension. Just..."Wut the hell you doin now?"
We literally got him yesterday, but this little f**ker has already made a massive impression on me. More so than the pigeons ever could. Call me a softy, crazrd animal lover, whatever the hell you want but this bird is too sweet for this cruel world.
He cries if hes not being held, or thinks your not giving him enough attention. He wants to stay close to your face, so if hes not already he forces his way closer with those tiny talons of his. He snuggles into your hand, and watches you do anything at all until he falls asleep in your palm. I cant leave him in his box for more than fifteen minutes before hes crying so damn loud. A feral baby chick we got literally yesterday morning and all he wants is to be held and loved...
And damn have i fallen for this bird.
But he's hurt...badly hurt...more so than i feared when i was first handed him in that moubtain dew can box. So hurt i cant even bare to name him because im so scared hes not going to make it...
My Violinist already knows parts of this, but like i said...if you are too tender hearted for small animals like i am its not to late to stop reading.
The baby was pushed from its nest most likely. And when he landed, he must of fallen on his leg, because the bone has been broken clean in half.
We didnt notice this yesterday because there was no obvious swelling or bleeding,  and Baby was showing no signs of pain or distress. At all. Like i had said before, we thought he was just sick. Infection maybe. But never ONCE has he shown pain, discomfort, or illness. He acts like a little bird trying to be a little bird...so we had no idea he was slowly tearing appart his own leg.
This morning it was large and swollen. You could see the bone near the skin.
Now, when the baby wants to move closer to you, he FLAILS around. Whipping and throwing his limp noodle leg everywhere. So it made sense as to why it got worse. And quickly.
So thats how i spent the entire day carrying the bird, holding him snugly in fear of him moving and making it worse...but it still did get worse...by the afternoon the bone broke the skin, and nightfall it was protruding a clear centimeter from the skin and flesh. It looked like the most painful injury to be had...
But the baby didnt flinch. Didnt sqwak. But was willing to still dragg his leg and make things worse when he wanted to be held. He either doesnt feel any pain whatsoever, or its so much pain he cant even fight us, which would explain how tame he is. After much research and youtube searching, my dad and i found a way to splint his leg with q-tips and bandaids, to at least hold the bones in place. It was horrible, and despite the tugging and pulling on his leg, the baby was quiet for majority of it. He only cried out once, but it was the first time i heard my baby in pain, and it was heart wrenching...
Thankfully, he seems to appreciate the splint, now that the trauma of piecing his leg back together is done. He moves better, and is even more lively! I even have some pics of his little splint.

Bad photo i know, but he doesnt like me lifting his wing, which i had to do to take the photo. We have photos of his leg before the splint...but it too graphic. Thank me later...

But still, we know the amount of damage in the leg leaves us with a few options for the little guy...
Somehow find a vet nearby who will not only take a feral, common bird, so they can amuptate the leg (theres no hope in saving it. I cant see how...)
...or end his misery all together...
Obviously im praying and hoping for option one. But on TOP of his leg, he looks sickly. Infected even with yellow skin and zit like bumps on his body. So its not very likely my little Grackle is going to make it...
And im heartbroken over it.
None of yall needed to know this, and i mightve of ruined a few peoples days but i needed to let this out. Im sorry again if you were grossed out or upset with me over this baby bird story but i dont care. I just needed to vent it out so i did.
Ill keep those of you who care updated on his health. Dad is tsking him to a vet who will either agree to help him, or...suggest we let go.
Its a damn ugly bird and i shouldnt be so upset. But you guys should just see the panic on his face when you put him down in the box. The determination when he's clawing and flailing his way to your neck.  And that moment of peace he gets when he finds the perfect spot to sit in your hand before going to sleep.
Ive had this guy for barely a full 24 hours by now.
But im so attached...loosing him isnt going to be easy...