Crash 卌 luke hemmings

Ch 10

卌 Wednesday, October 2 卌

A week.  7 days.  168 hours.  10080 minutes.  That's how long it had been since I'd seen Luke.  It's not like I didn't know he was okay.  The entire school had heard from Claire that he was okay.  She basically did everything but go over the PA system to let everyone know that she had been there the moment he woke up and hand and foot for him ever since then.  I didn't care.  I wasn't jealous.  I knew I was lying to myself about that but I couldn't have those feelings for Luke.  Me and Ashton were finally back on track.  Maybe me and Luke will be friends me and will leave me to be with Ashton without confusing me and my feelings.  Of course that was another lie.  I didn't want him to forget the kiss happened.  I secretly wanted him to tell me he felt the same things I'd been feeling.  But that was why I needed to pretend like it never happened.  Ash and I talked and I told him about Luke and that he kissed me.  I didn't tell him about the time I kissed Luke again, rather that I was feeling so distant from him that I just let him kiss me.  Maybe I wasn't being completely honest but at least I told him.  He was mad, yes.  I mean, who wouldn't be, but we worked it out.  I just hoped he wouldn't see Luke when he came to New York in a week.  Best part of all of this was that Luke had come back today.  From what I had heard, he was released from the hospital yesterday with almost a miraculous recovery time and was on crutches.  Apparently, he was pretty insistent on coming back to school today. 

I reluctantly made my way to Chem lab.  Thankfully, I had made my way around half the day without seeing him but I knew I was going to see him here.  I dreaded it.  I just didn't want feelings to be stirred up in my body again.  My mind was already confused enough and I didn't need some blue eyed guy that thought he was the shit to shake up my life even more.  

I couldn't believe I had told him about my mom.  I mean sort of- he was unconscious.  But technically, I did confide in him whether he heard me or not.  I don't know why I felt like I could talk to him so easily. Ashton was literally the perfect guy for me and I know I could trust him but with Luke ...I somehow knew he would understand and not just listen.  Did it make me a bad person to want to be understood for once in my life?  No.  Did it make me a bad person for the way I handled it? Yes.  I didn't want to be a bad person.  And that is why I think it is best if I just kept my personal life separate from Luke Hemmings.  

I walked into class.  There was no sign of Luke... yet.  I sat down at my seat putting my head down on the table.  I felt like I haven't slept in ages.  My thoughts have kept me up for the past week.  Back and forth, back and forth, my mind and heart contradicted each other.  Then I heard the slapping of rubber against the tiled floor and I knew my time alone was up.  My head rose to find Luke struggling to get in his seat and find a place to put his crutches.  I sighed reaching up for them.  

"Here let me help."  

"I don't need your help."  He bent over leaning his crutches against the wall.  His silky accent stressed the harsh words.

I chose to ignore that comment for the greater good of everything.  "How are you feeling?"

"Look, Annie.  We're not friends.  I don't know you.  You don't know me.  You have no idea what I have been through and what I am going through so don't act like you fucking care about any of this shit."  He gestured up and down his body.  "Whatever you think we had, was in your head so stop pretending like this is some bounding connection between us!"

I sat there.  You might have thought I was trying to register the words but I couldn't even get my mind past the second one.  "W-what did you just call me?"  My voice was barely audible.

His eyebrows scrunched above his eyes and a confused look set on his face.  I got up out of my seat grabbing my bags and ran out of the classroom.  I didn't turn back until I heard Luke calling my name, my full name this time.