She Will Be Loved (GirlxGirl)

5. Zach I

I tossed and turned in my bed for the hundredth time tonight. Yet, there was no ounce of sleep in my eyes. One thought occupied my mind. I had almost told her how I felt. Almost. I knew she wasn't into me. Yet, I had decided to put myself out there but was interrupted by Macy, the girl that she was into.

I had always known El was a lesbian. I had always respected that. But ever since we started living together, I had seen her in a different light. I did not want to but I could not help it.

Every time I closed my eyes, her round face would appear in front of me. She looked so beautiful when she smiled with those red lips.

She's your best friend, you idiot!

Well, it was clear to me that a girl and a boy cannot ever be best friends without one of them being hurt in the process.

But, this wasn't her fault. She had always treated me as a friend and nothing more. And I had failed miserably.

I saw the way she looked at Macy. It was a blow to my heart but I did not want to be an intruder in her new romance. She looked so happy and I did not ever want to be the reason for making her happiness to go away.

We had been through thick and thin together. She was there when I had my first heartbreak. She was even there when my mum had died. Without her, I would not have been able to be what I was today. She was my support system.

She was, indeed, my friend. And here I was, being a disgrace to such a pure word.

Maybe I just liked her so much because she resembled my mother too well. They almost looked the same. The way El takes care of me reminds me so much of my mother. Maybe this was just strong affection.

I had always admired her for her confidence and charming personality. I never knew I would fall in love with that same person whom I had seen grow up beside me.

Wait a minute. Did I just use the word love?

I covered my face with my pillow. I was so ashamed that I felt disgusted with myself.

Oh no!

I could not fall in love with Ellen. No. That just could not happen. I would not let myself go that far. That road would only lead to hurt and nothing else. I needed to bring myself back from this mess of a situation.

As I slowly drifted off to a deep sleep, I did not see the familiar face of Ellen anymore. Instead, I could see my mother smiling at me, with that same loving expression that she always gave me.

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Author's Note

I rewrote this chapter as well. The previous one did not seem to fit here properly.

Don't worry! You'll see that one in the later part of this book.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

Hope you enjoy this one. :)