She Will Be Loved (GirlxGirl)

20. Jordan IV

"How are you doing, sir?" Victor's heavy voice cut through the steely silence. I was sitting in the backseat of my car while Victor drove me to my office. Raising my eyes, I caught him stealing solemn glances at me through the rear-view mirror.

I exhaled audibly before replying. "Managing, Victor. Don't know how well, though."

"By the looks of it, I'm presuming it's not going that well."

Was he serious? As I was getting ready this morning, I tried so hard to hide the weariness on my face. But I guessed, I hadn't managed to do a good job at all.

I groaned loudly and rested my head on my folded palms. "I just–I don't know what to do now." Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. Macy's beautiful face flased in my mind and I was forced to open them abruptly.

She had left me only yesterday and everyone expected me to get over my feelings this quickly? How was I going to do that? It doesn't matter if she doesn't love me in return, I still love her. And I feel it extremely strongly. I can't get over it in the span of one day.

"Talking about your feelings helps." Victor prompted.

"Not right now, Victor."

I knew what I exactly needed to move on from Macy — just a little bit of time. Meanwhile, I would just busy myself in work so that I didn't have to think about anything else. It was a foolproof plan. But for it to work out successfully, everyone else around me needed to cooperate.

"You know, there are professionals for this, sir. They can help y—"

"I said not now! Let's drop the subject. Do you understand?" My raised voice sounded like thunder in the cramped space of the car.

"Yes, sir." Victor nodded and centred his vision on the road.

The rest of the drive was spent in silence.

As I entered the office, Soomi, my secretary, started to walk along, briefing me about today's schedule. "There are some forms that need your signature — I have kept the folders on your table. We have to interview the interns at 10, which will last for two hours. Then, after lunch break, we have the book deal meeting with Mr. Alexander at 1 and that's it."

I stopped short in my tracks. "Wait. The book deal meeting is today? Shit. I totally forgot to prepare for it."

"Well, I can shift the interviews to some other day," Soomi said nonchalantly.

"No, we can't do that. They will think we are not a punctual company and we have a reputation to keep. Don't worry, I'll manage."

*****

"Sir, it's okay." Soomi's comforting voice filled up my office room. "We can negotiate a better offer in the next meeting. At least, he'll still work with our company."

"I'm so sorry, Soomi. It's all my fault." I was sitting on my chair, on the other side of the table, shoulders drooped and head resting on folded hands. I was so ashamed that I couldn't even bring myself to look into her eyes while talking.

"Sir, after everything that has happened with you, I know you're not in a good headspace. Yesterday, when we received your message, everyone in the office was feeling sad about the situation. I can't even imagine what you must had been going through. You don't need to blame yourself for today."

She hesitated for a minute, then spoke up again. "I was thinking if you need some professional help to get back on track, then I can set up an appointment with some good therapist."

"Soomi, please. I need to be alone right now."

"Yes, sir." Before closing the door on her way out, she added, "You can also just share your thoughts with someone you trust."

I contemplated her last comment and felt defeated. I wasn't even capable of getting over a break up on my own. I let it affect me so much that it was interfering with every aspect of my life. God, I could no longer live like this. I had to do something. I took out my phone, and called the only person whom I trusted a hundred percent regarding this situation.

*****

I didn't want to meet up at her apartment. After all, Macy was staying here with Lilly. But Lilly had said Macy was out at the moment. So, here I was, ringing the doorbell.

Lilly greeted me, engulfing me in a brief, warm hug. "Come in! Don't worry. Macy's not here. As promised."

Lilly showed me to the sofa and I took a seat on one end, while Lilly occupied the other. She was wearing a pair of dark blue jean shorts and a plaid red and black shirt. Her hair was tied up in a messy ponytail.

"So, what did you wanna talk about?" Lilly asked eagerly.

"I fucked up today's meeting. It was extremely important. And I fucked it up."

"Well, do you wanna have a drink? I think I have a bottle of wine in the kitchen."

"And I think it was cause of your sister."

"You guys broke up just yesterday. Give it time. I know it's hard to move on but it'll happen." Lilly offered me a sympathetic look.

"I thought the same thing, Lilly. But everyone is like, 'get some professional help!' and I'm really tired and frustrated at letting this event just take over my life." I gave a low grunt.

"I didn't say this before but you do kind of look like you have been through hell."

"Lilly, I'm serious." I scolded.

"Well, so am I. Have you considered seeing a shrink?"

"I don't need medication or anything. Just someone to share my thoughts with. Also, nothing too formal."

Lilly gave it a thought, then replied, "When I was in college, I used to attend group therapy. It was good, and not at all formal. It's like those AA meetings, but for working through stress."

"You think it'll be good for me?"

"I think it'll be perfect!" Lilly smiled and I nodded in return.

______________________________________

Author's Note

Group therapies are amazing 😉

Also, don't forget to check out the 'Playlist' chapter at the start of this book!