"i thought you were a guy, that's why we even answered your craigslist offer!"
"well i look like a little boy so i think that's good enough, am i right?"
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"if i have to see you and alex make out when walking into the door one more time, joey, i'm going to loose it." ethan tells me when now taking a sip of his coffee as i had taken a seat on the island of the kitchen. his words causing me to scoff as i lean on the palm of my hand.
"you only say that because you wish it was you and that's the tea." troy informs causing our eyes to look over to the man beside me with questionable stares. he takes a bite of his grilled cheese as he suddenly looks up with the shrug of his shoulders. "i haven't been on twitter for a while and i learned the new stuff." he adds as i decide on just brushing it off as i sigh in the process of this conversation.
"so what if alex and i make out, a lot? it's not like you hear us have sex."
"you guys had sex already?" troy asks with a tone of excitement as i sink in my seat a little as i go to open my mouth to speak. because you see, there was some conflict with the situation of sex with alex. and that was due to my ptsd memories of thomas.
"not necessarily." i state as troy now looses the happiness as he frowns.
"what's wrong? it's about to be christmas in like less than two weeks and you guys seemed like you were having fun on thanksgiving." ethan comments now as i take a breath of air with the emotions of desolation to uprise. my hands now fidgeting with the ends of my hair as i was ready to explain.
"it's just i had been with thomas for two years. he kind of was only the second guy i had sex with and well you see i'm nervous. you know i got cheated on too so that's not a real confidence booster." i say with a sad smile as they both stare with sympathy now. ethan now places the mug into the sink as he places both hands on the island.
"joey, thomas cheated on you because he's a jerk. not because you were bad at anything and i can promise you that. alex doesn't seem like that and i'm pretty sure he'll love whatever you got going on with him." ethan tells me a soft grin as i nod now, ready to thank him for his kind words before another man rushes in with a brightening simper.
"guys, i got a date tonight."
_
you know, i didn't expect the words to tear at my chest nor did i intend on being so cold from the detailed words of how he met her. either way it was an odd feeling that i knew was jealousy but i had tried to push it far, far down. "so yeah, anyways we're going out tonight. i hope it goes well because it's my first time with another girl since, well, carrie." he says with a smile as his eyes finally land on me as i paste on a grin.
"good job, gray." i finally say with some genuine happiness for him as he nods when guiding his body to the fridge. his hand reaches out for a water bottle as he begins to open it when taking a sip. then sighing faintly.
