"i thought you were a guy, that's why we even answered your craigslist offer!"
"well i look like a little boy so i think that's good enough, am i right?"
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"oregon?" he questions, a tone of voice stuck within the stream of disapproval. "oregon, quite possibly the place where every fucking weirdo lives at." grayson concludes.
"yeah, oregon. that's like hell but instead of fire and lucifer, it's white people asking about your day with one of those get out smiles." troy rambles on, dissatisfaction from my words of before causing a ruckus between the two. "it's the land of the muskrat."
"or more like my hometown. where i was born and where i grew up at." i substitute into their assumptions, both of eyes slightly becoming wider as they realize the situation they put themselves into. "and the land of the muskrat? out of the things that pops into your head when i say that."
"oh.." grayson's opinion drifts away.
"i'm not going to lie." troy then brings up. "it makes sense, you know. everything we said somehow has to do with you." he informs, the shrug of his shoulders following along his analysis.
"except i'm not white." i say, my stare goes down to my brown painted skin, wrapped around fragile bones. "definitely not." i mumble only for me to look back up to the boys who watch my reactions. confusion had possessed their bodies, not understand what i could possibly mean.
"but that's not why i called you out here for a roommate meeting. i called you out here because i will be leaving-"
"over. my. dead. body." grayson interrupts, squinted irises which present determination and pure meaning to his statement. which lets me sigh faintly.
"i will be leaving la and also we will be having a wake for grayson along with my farewell." i add as he rolls his eyes, his arms crossed over the yellow hoodie he wore which creased in certain corners.
"ha ha ha, joey." he taunts. "i'm serious, we're not letting you leave california." his words cause my chest to tighten. because when you read between the lines from the things grayson utters, you see more. you understand that under the humor, under all the things he portrayed for you, there is more. and this time i could hear the begging, the torture he felt from the idea of this.
"grayson i-"
"i know you're hurt, i know you're in pain. i know you liked him a lot and now it's like everything fell apart and you have no where else to go. but i know my brother and i know what he told you isn't all true." he gets out, water brimmed eyes come back to me in pain, they ache from the desolation that has been controlling them.
"like him." i tell, calmness, even such softness in my voice. "i still like him. it's hard for me too, gray. i mean, fuck, this sucks." i laugh in agony, even in disbelief because what i have gotten myself into.
