Hidden Reality: A collection of poems

Guilt

8/7/18

For most, guilt is just a temporary thing,

Not exactly an emotion but a feeling of the obscene.

Well, for me it is an emotion, something that is stuck coursing.

A warning of mornings that I wake up to black,

That I did something wrong, I'm always on the attack.

I try to urge myself, convince myself, that I am not one to feel so on edge,

But it's like the demons born inside my head are driving paranoia to cry instead.

I wake up to the feelings of guilt.

It's like my title, the cover, the pages, the entire book.

I have nothing to feel this way for,

But it's like my body is a machine that is use to producing these panic scenes.

Please, won't anyone help coax me?

Or are they too scared because of the aftermath I left before thee?

I don't blame you,

But I wish you could see through the lines that I have blurred.

I never meant to cause this destruction, all of it is just apart of the curse.

I need someone that can hold me away from the storms.

I need someone to hold my hand in the darkest of nights,

I need someone by my side to help me go on with something called life.

Guilt is the fog inside my mind,

Affecting my confidence and all that resigns.

I wanna just say a simple hi, but all that releases is the goodbyes.

My hands of actions is covered in the shadows,

I feel as though I am watching myself just losing to these battles.

Before, I used to say that I'll stay with you no matter what,

But now I think things along the lines of,

"Close that door on me one more time,

I'll show you what it's like to be left behind."

But I don't really mean that,

I am so sorry for the social defect.

Apologizing seems to be the only words coming out of my mouth.

Repeating the sorries as if that even helps.

The guilt

Is stuck.

- Novice_Key