Better Off This Way: Eren Jaeger x Reader [MODERN]

~Chapter 16~

~Third Person Point of View~

It was late evening and Eren had still not managed to get Leo home.

"LEOOOO?!" Eren called, walking through the back alley of the condominium.
"Where the fuck is that little rat bastard?..." Eren mumbled to himself.
"Mrreow." Leo cooed, sitting atop a garage bin.
"Gotcha now!" Eren growled, dashing towards Leo.
Leo seemed unfazed by his franticness, appearing not to move.
Eren then tripped over a fallen branch.
When he looked up, to his surprise, Leo was gone.
"Aaaand he's a teleporter." Eren scoffed.
He got up and dusted himself off, heading towards the main road.
Suddenly, Eren noticed Leo on the edge of the busy road.
He rushed over in a panicked motion, stopping slightly before reaching Leo.
"Come on little critter, come to papa..." Eren attempts to sweet talk the feline.
Leo stood perfectly still.
"Mreow~"
"I've got him now.." Eren thought to himself.
Just then, a loud blair was heard. Bright headlights were in the picture as well, it was a large semi headed towards their general direction.
Leo had not yet crossed the line into the intersection however, but one wrong move could end everything in catastrophe. Clearly their presence made the semi driver nervous as he began flashing his headlights anxiously towards them, temporarily blinding Eren causing him to squint.
As his vision came back into focus, Leo was gone.
"NONONONONONO!" Eren yelled in a panicked manor.
"Where is he? Where did he go? Oh god, is he on the road?! What happened to him?!"
"Mreow~" Eren hears a coo come from behind him.
"WHAT THE FUCK? How did you get all the way back there again?!" Eren shrieks.
"I know, I'll just scare you all the way home!"
"PSH! PSSHHH! GET! YOU STUPID ANIMAL! GO!" Eren claps his hands towards him aggressively.
Leo was unfazed.
"RAAAA!" Eren attempted to growl, stomping towards Leo.
Instead of scurrying, Leo laid on his back in a flirty manor emitting a large purr.
"AHAH! I GOT YOU!" Eren exclaims, taking hold of the cat.
"HAHA!" Eren laughs victoriously, running towards the house.
As he neared the door, Eren tripped on the GameBoy that was once taken hostage of by the cat.
"FUCK- There's my GameBoy!" Eren said, flying forward and losing his grip on Leo.
Eren landed torso first, sliding forwards a bit.
"Yep.... that's about right." Eren groaned, bringing himself back to a stance.
"Oh my fuck- WHERE'S LEO?!" He then looked around anxiously.
"Mreow" Leo cooed.
He was perched high up on the branch of a nearby tree.
"FUCKIN- TELEPORTER." Eren angrily whispered to himself.
"Leo! You get down here right this instance! You are grounded mister!" Eren yelled.
"God.... who am I?..." Eren mumbled to himself.
Leo began to purr and rub himself on the tree branch, suddenly losing his balance and plummeting to the ground.
"Well, he's a cat so at least he'll land on his-"
THUD.
"MREOW!"
"Nevermind."
Leo began cooing pathetically.
"Ugh, you've gotta be kidding me.." Eren said with annoyance.
"You're okay! Just dust yourself off." Eren said, walking towards Leo.
Leo continued the pathetic cooing.
"Ugh. Please don't make me do this." Eren mumbled.
Leo's eyes widened, begging for sympathy.
Eren sighs.
"Universe, you are an asshole." He said, looking around to make sure no one was near.
"Ugh. Alright, here it goes...." Eren sighs once more.
He began meowing rockabye baby as he cradled Leo in his arms.
".... Are you meowing a lullaby to your cat?" An unfamiliar voice speaks.
"FUCK! Where did you come from?!" Eren yelled, noticing the silhouette standing on the edge of his front lawn.
"A-a-and pft! No. I'm not.. I- you know what? M-mind your own business! What're you doing on my lawn anyhow?" Eren stutters out.
"Just taking my dog for a walk...." The voice replied, gesturing to a pathetic little chihuahua squatting nearby.
"Man, you sure do see some strange things in this neighbourhood." The voice adds.
"You know what? This cat has special needs! And why is your dog pissing on my lawn?!" Eren replies.
"Seems like you both have special needs.... I'd say my dog pissing on your lawn is the least of your worries." The voice retorts.
"Fucking wise-asses, everywhere!" Eren mumbled to himself, carrying Leo into the house like a baby.
"I can give you the number for a great therapist!" The voice replies, as Eren closes the door.
"Okay, go on you fuckin moron." Eren watches him waddle away in the house, purring.
"You fuckin adorable little moron...."
just then, Eren hears a car screech in.
He looks out the window, noticing Mikasa's car parked behind Eren's 1973 Chevy Camaro.
"Ugh, phew! Perfect timing." Eren says to himself.
"Eren! Eren!" He hears [Y/N] screaming.
"Code red code red!" Mikasa shouts.
"What's wrong?!" Eren replies, opening to door and seeing [Y/N] and Mikasa's silhouettes.
"We fucked up. We fucked up BIG TIME." Mikasa adds.
"What?! What's wrong?!" Eren asks, reaching for the porch light.
"No! Don't turn on the light! You're not gonna like what you see!" [Y/N] yells.
"What?!" Eren proceeds to switch on the light.
"Don't look at us, we're monsters!" Mikasa exclaims as the light shines into us.
"Oh. My. God. What did you do?" Eren says in shock.
Mikasa and [Y/N] were both wearing bright floral print clothing, their skin sparkling with glitter and bright highlighted faces.
"We overdid the girly shit!" Mikasa says, almost ashamed.
"We couldn't stop it! I-it just- happened! It's like we were possessed by some sadistic estrogen demon!"
[Y/N] crys.
Eren stared in awe for a few moments.
"HAH! HAHAHAHA!" He bursts out laughing.
"Stop laughing at us! This is an absolute catastrophe!" Mikasa yells.
"You guys- look- ridiculous!" Eren giggles, following Mikasa and [Y/N] into the house.
"We went to a spa! We- went fake sun tanning!"  Mikasa exclaimed.
She then turns and grabs Eren by the collar of his shirt.
"We listened to tailor swift.... on the radio! On the fucking radio!" She yells.
"We even sang along.." [Y/N] sobbed.
"How did we even know the words?" Mikasa sobbed as well.
The two girls quickly ran to the kitchen sink, attempting to scrub the glitter off of them.
"You- ha- you guys look like two fourteen year olds at a One Direction concert." Eren continued to giggle.
"This is a nightmare." Mikasa said.
"You guys look like the carebears swallowed a bunch of skittles and shit them out all over a rainbow which then landed on barbie's face!" Eren laughs.
"I can feel the pink and glitter.... seeping into my brain cells!" [Y/N] falls to the floor almost seizure like.
"I just want one last dark thought, before I turn into a living powerpuff girl.. I pledge my allegiance to the nation of beliebers! Damn you Justin! Why do I suddenly find you so irresistible?!" [Y/N] hits the ground with her fists.
"You guys look like... uh-uh... you look like...."
"Oh my god, we look like Madeline!" Mikasa and [Y/N] say in unison.
"Whoa okay too far." Eren says flatly.
"Shut up and help us!" Mikasa yells.
"Alright okay I got this." Eren claps his hands together.
He reaches for a remote, igniting the stereo.
Y'all Want a Single by Korn starts blaring.

"Somethings happening.... something is happening- My head is starting to bob slightly... This is good, this is good!" Mikasa exclaims.
"Hair.. starting to swing- from side to side.. yes, very good." [Y/N] adds.
"I feel angry... I feel angry!" Mikasa says through happy tears.
"I finally remember how much this world SUCKS!" [Y/N] says with glee.
Mikasa and [Y/N] run towards each other.
"Oh, it sucks so much!" They cheer.
Mikasa and [Y/N] began violently head banging in the kitchen.
Eren glances over at Leo, who was happily perched on the kitchen counter.
"How does it feel to be the sane one?" He asks.
Leo coos.