If I say I miss you, will you come back? (Completed)

Chapter 4: The day I almost went too far

Dear Journal

I think I'm losing my mind. Or maybe I've already lost it? I mean how do you tell you when you've gone off the deep end? Well I mean if I don't think I'm crazy, I wouldn't know I've gone...! Stop it Diaz! I swore she was in the room with me. I was sleeping, dreaming of things that are umm totally unrelated to any blonde haired, blue eyed princesses we know, when I felt her. I know it sounds crazy but I felt her soft fingers brush my cheek. When I bolted awake, I was alone in my empty room. I could feel my cheeks flushing and still tingling as if she had actually touched me.

I miss Star more than I could even describe but I didn't think I start imagining her touch. I've been and done some insane things over the course of our adventures but literally nothing like that. Every time I write in you, I just miss her more and more. And, deep inside, I feel like she misses me just as badly.

But that's just wishful thinking. I mean I'm just Marco and she's...well amazing and a beautiful princess. I know it ended horribly and I hurt her bad...

Sorry, sorry. Even after all this time, it still hurts. A lot. And I cant really write it down yet. I mean I know I left to save Star but looking back now, after all this time, I was stupid. She doesn't need saving and I just ended up destroying the most beautiful relationship I ever had. I just keep looking back at all the chances I had...for you know to tell her how awesome of a friend she was! Is! Was...

Man, that sounds feeble even to my tired eyes.

I really should've told her back when my parents threw that costume party for all the dimensions.

It was a massive party to celebrate not only the fact our unnecessarily huge castle had finally been finished but also as a way for my parents to build diplomatic ties with the other dimensions. While the adults had stayed contained in the throne room, talking more than anything else, my parents left the ball room to be the site for a party for all the royal teens to mix and mingle. After all, if the adults couldn't get along, maybe the kingdoms would have a better chance with their kids stepped up to rule.

I also think it was my parents trying to find me a girlfriend.

I hope they're doing good. I miss them, even with their embarrassing behavior. God it has been a long time if I'm missing that...

Anyway, I remembered how excited Star was. Apparently costume parties weren't a thing on Mewni and she was always eager to party and try something new. In hindsight, I really shouldn't have let Star pick BOTH of our costumes. When she said we should dress up like two fictional best friends, I honestly thought she would've picked something from her favorite shows like Batman and Robin or Spud and Trixie from American Dragon. I never thought she would pick she would pick her ultimate favorite show...

"Tuxedo Mask and Sailor moon?!" I cried out in surprise as she held out the tuxedo for me to put on.

It was about 2 hours or so before the party and we had met up in my room so she could finally give me the costume she had been hiding from me all week. To say I was shocked would be an understatement

Star nodded happily "I know right! I thought it was perfect too!"

I bit my lip. Star was a huge fan of Sailor Moon. A reckless blonde girl who uses a wand to fight evil? That show was practically made for Star. That being said, she had only watched a few episodes at that point and was unaware of the romantic implications our pairing would bring. Star later told me, with a nervous chuckle, she only picked Tuxedo Mask for me was because he was the only helpful male character on the show.

I mean she had a solid point and I didn't want to ruin her first costume party. Besides, most of the people there would be other royalty and the rest would be the staff who already thought Star and I were a thing. All the royal families from my universe had declined. So on the surface, it seemed like there would be no trouble.