If I say I miss you, will you come back? (Completed)

Chapter 6: The day Star nearly killed me

Everything hurts. Everything hurts. I'm pretty sure my wounds have wounds. I think I got another burn mark. I don't think I can write in you tonight I'm just too tired.

Good night Journal

Night Star

Hey Journal...

Okay so I can't sleep. Sue me. You can't actually sue me right?

I don't why but I keep feeling that somehow you are alive. That you actually are hearing and feeling my thoughts and words. I just feel better when I talk...er write in you. And I'm remembering so many things. Things I honestly forgot in the madness of daily life.

I still can't believe Star kissed me during Mewberty. I mean I knew it was purely instinctive but why did that exactly mean? Did Star have feelings for me at the time? Or was I just a really good friend?

I knew Star for 3 years but I felt like I've known her my entire life. I keep thinking back and no matter what I think of, no matter what event I try to remember I just automatically add Star into the memory. I...I couldn't imagine my life without her.

But now I have to.

I hope she's doing okay. Scratch that, I hope she's doing good. I know we fought but...I still want the best for her even after everything she said.

I worry about her. I mean I'm not there to help her anymore. She never needed help. Between her fighting style and her wand, why would she ever need a simple guy from Earth? All I have is karate and a sword. Sometimes I wondered if she ever actually needed me. I doubt it.

Actually...that isn't true. There was one time I was the only who could have saved her and I'm really glad I had. I just wish I could've prevented the near tragedy that happened a few months later. Poor Star. I hope she doesn't have nightmares about it still...

I remember it was sometime after Mewberty. I only remembered that detail because Star used to send me magic photos of her various attempts at flight. Haha it was really cute to see her with biggest grin on her face in one photo only to find her smiling like she won the lottery in the next as she lay in the water fountain from her crash landing.

It was my turn to visit her in Mewni. I had been avoiding her for a few weeks. Of course I told myself I wasn't actually avoiding her, things just kept coming up. I was lying to myself. I see that now. I guess I was so scared that I changed everything with Star I just...freaked after she kissed me. I was scared she would remember and hate me forever. If you ever told me one day Star Butterfly wouldn't be a part of my life anymore...well I would've beat you up then gave you a really close haircut.

I remember I brought some rubber gloves, cleaning supplies and Star's birthday gift. Star mentioned something a stain not coming off of her favorite dress and nothing on Mewni could get rid of it. I remember her freaking out because she had managed to score a date with Oskar and she wanted to wow him with that dress. Oh, that's right! Star was going to spend her birthday with Oskar. That's why I had brought Star's gift early because I wasn't going to be able to give it to her on her birthday...

As I walked through the portal, I remembered feeling extremely tense. For some reason, I had gotten in my head that Star was mad at me and didn't want to see me. I took some calming deep breaths, convincing myself that of course Star wanted to see me. I was her best friend.

For an instant trip, it felt like an eternity. When the portal finally showed me Mewni, I was not expecting to see a bunch of people running around in a panic, their arms flailing as if trying to wave off something from attacking them.

I barely managed to get a "Huh?" out when a bolt of lightning streaked right my head, narrowly missing my skull but scorching off a small piece of my hair.