Kabanata 26
Weep
All throughout the flight going to Las Vegas, wala akong ibang inisip kung hindi ang kung ano ang madadatnan ko at kung ano nga ang ginagawa ni James.
It's hard thinking that these past few days, biglang naging cold at naging distant na siya. Madalang na ang pagtawag niya at ang pag-uusap namin.
I don't know. Maybe it's because of his work or because of something else. I hate to admit it but iba ang nararamdaman ko tungkol dito.
"Excuse me, may I know where to find Mr. James Reid?"
I immediately asked the front desk officer in that certain hotel pagdating ko. She looked at me with pure curiosity at tiningnan ako mula ulo hanggang paa. I didn't mind it but instead I proudly looked back at her with my intimidating stance.
"I'm sorry Ma'am but we don't give personal information of our guests especially to a stranger."
Nagpigil ako at bumuntong hininga. Bigla akong napahawak sa ulo ko dahil sa hindi malamang dahilan. Bigla nalang kasing sumakit ito at nahilo ako.
"Excuse me Ma'am? Are you alright? You look pale. You want us to take you to the clinic?"
"No, no."
Mabilis ang pag-iling ko at umalis na sa harap niya. I managed to find my phone inside my bag at naghanap ng matatawagan just to know where is James' suit.
Habang busy ako sa pagkakalikot ng phone ko, a girl in her mid 20's stopped by and looked at me.
She seems familiar to me but I just can't remember where I saw this girl.
"Nadine?"
"Yes? Hi?"
"I'm Caryl, James' manager. Bakit ka nandito?"
Para akong nabunutan ng tinik when I heard her say the name James. I immediately went to her and held her hand out of desperation.
"Hi Caryl, uhm alam mo ba saan ang kwarto ni James dito? Kararating ko lang and I don't know-"
"Bakit ka nandito? Nadine, you don't know what you're doing."
Naningkit ang mata ko and all of my hopes went down. I didn't expect that she would reply that way kasi I thought she would really help me. But I was very wrong.
"A-ano? Si James. Si James ang pinunta ko dito kaya please Ca. Tell me where's he. Please."
Tumitig lang siya sa akin at hindi ko alam kung ano ang naging reaksyon niya. Pinipigilan ko na ang mga luha na nagbabadyang kumawala sa mga mata ko just to let her know that I am strong and I can do this one.
"Umuwi ka nalang Nadine. You don't know what you're doing."
And with that, she left me alone giving no answer at all. Pinalis ko kaagad ang luha na bumagsak sa mata ko at mariing napapikit. I suddenly felt the throbbing in my head but I disregard it instead I followed where Caryl is heading to.
Never in my life did I imagined that I, Nadine Alexis Lustre will be stalking or following someone just to know where the fuck is James. Kahit kailan hindi pa ako naging desperada dahil lang sa isang lalaki pero iba ang sitwasyon ngayon. I need to know everything and I just can't sit there in the Philippines waiting for James to be back again.
Lalo na ngayon na hindi na naman sigurado ang lahat para sa akin.
Habang palihim ko siyang sinusundan, one suite caught my attention. I don't know what's behind it but my heart suddenly raced. Sumilip ako sa maliit na awang sa pinto at una kong nakita ay ang mga damit na nagkalat sa sahig ng hotel room. Hindi pa nakuntento ay tuluyan na nga akong pumasok.
And with that, my world came crushing down against me. I cannot even handle it properly. I saw James sitting on the couch while Erika is on top of him almost being naked.
"Fuck!"
James was so shocked when he saw me standing in front of them. Agad siyang tumayo at itinulak si Erika at malapit pa siyang matumba. He tried to reach for my hands pero agad ko itong iniwas.
"Love, please let me explain. It's not what you-"
"Ano pa ba ang idadagdag mo James? Nakita ko na lahat diba? There's no need for you to explain everything!"
Hindi ko na napigilan at bumagsak na lahat ng luha na kanina ko pa pilit na pinipigilan. I cannot even breathe properly because of the pain that's in my chest knowing what I saw awhile ago.
How could James do this one to me?! Paano na yung mga pangako at pangarap namin sa isa't isa? Was it all just a game?
Napansin ko ang paglapit ni Erika sa amin at agad niyang pinulupot ang kamay sa likod ni James at yumakap. Kahit na umiiyak ako, napataas ako ng kilay dahil sa ginawa niya and I laughed but without humor at all.
"Babe, stop explaining to that woman! Can we just complete our babe time together?!"
She said it seductively at marahang tinanggal ni James ang kamay ni Erika at nakita ang galit niyang mga mata. Nakita ko naman kung paano nagbago ang reaksyon ni Erika dahil doon at umatras ng bahagya.
"Can you please stay on your fucking lane Erika? Matagal na tayong wala and we both know that this is just for the fucking show. Don't be such a bitch." James muttered angrily.
"But J-James, alam mo naman anong mangyayari kung ipagpapatuloy mo pa ang relasyon ko sa babaeng iyan, hindi ba? Papaano yung career mo? Tayo?"
Napahilamos si James at pulang pula na niya. Huminga siya ng malalim bago ulit nagsalita.
"Can you please stop? Usapang mag-asawa ito and you're completely out in the picture!"
Naningkit ang mata ko nung narinig ko ang sinabi ni James. Gago! May asawa bang nangangaliwa sa kanyang misis? What the fuck James!
"You continue your sex James. Aalis na ako. And one last time. Pakisarado yung pintuan sa susunod para walang makakita sa inyo."
Tatalikod na sana ako pero agad na nahawakan ni James ang kamay ko. Nagpupumiglas na ako at naiiyak dahil sa sakit, sa pagod, at sa disappointments na nakuha ko dahil sa pagsunod ko dito sa Vegas.
"Please, Nadine. Let's fix this one love"
Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at nasampal ko ng malakas si James. Alam kong napalakas iyon dahil medyo natagalan pa siya bago maka recover at nakita ko ang pamumula ng pisngi niya dahil doon.
"Fix? Sabihin ko nga James papaano ko maaayos ang isang bagay na ikaw naman mismo ang sumira, huh? At tsaka ano 'to? The last time in my office ano yun? Goodbye fuck? Thank you I met you kind of fuck? What James! Tell me!"
Hinampas ko siya sa dibdib at pilit niya akong hinahawakan para pakalmahin. Napansin kong nawala na si Erika sa loob ng kwarto at mukhang kaming dalawa nalang ang nandidito sa loob.
"Love, please."
Patuloy pa rin ako sa ginagawa kong paghampas at napansin ko na umiiyak na si James. His tired, angry, and frustrated blood shot eyes made my heart ached more. Mukhang nahihirapan na din siya dahil dito.
"Hayop ka James! Tangina mo!"
Nanghina ang paghampas ko sa dibdib niya at unti unting nanghina at bumagsak sa sahig. I suddenly felt a foreign pain at biglang nahilo ako. Inalo ako ni James pero wala na akong masyadong marinig.
I suddenly felt some hot liquid that came down between my thigh and I heard James uttered a curse for how many times. Napadaing ako sa sakit and the last time I knew, everything went to black.
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Update!!! Alam niyo ba na I wrote this kanina habang nasa library ako kasi wala kaming prof kanina pero kasi siraulo yung data ko so kaya ngayon lang napost. Sorry if update's too long. I am already bombarded with school works and assignments tapos isali mo pa ang campaign period sa sinalihan kong organization council.
I hope you understand my current situation kasi two weeks palang sa college life ko, it feels like forever na :( But anyways dami kong sinabi, here it is!! Sana masaya kayo kahit masakit yung update! All the love guys 💜✨
BINABASA MO ANG
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