ChanHun: Top or Bottom pt.2 [HIATUS]

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Sehun

Why can't he fucking understand that I'm not what he thinks I am.

Bakit ba obsessed na obsessed sya sa idea na buntis ako? Bakit ba hindi nya matanggap na hindi ako buntis, at alam ko sa sarili kong hindi?

People might say that I'm being dramatic, exaggerated even, na pahabol ako ng pahabol, na pabebe na. No. I wanted him to realize himself, na hindi ako yung taong hinahanap nya.

Hindi ako si Baekhyun. Hindi ako yung romantic nya. Hindi ako buntis. At sigurado ako don.

He was obsessed with the idea of me being pregnant dahil gusto nyang gawin sakin yung mga gusto nyang gawin kay Baekhyun nung buntis si Baekhyun hyung.

Dahil gusto nyang bumawi kay Baekhyun sa ginawa nya dito nung buntis to. Newsflash, he's dreaming, I'm not pregnant.

I thought he really cares for me, pero all this time pala, he was taking care of the imaginary baby. Ipinagluluto nya ko tuwing umaga, he never lets me do heavy house chores, nagagalit sya kapag napapagod ako, ayaw nyang humahawak ako ng alak, ayaw nyang napupuyat ako. All those times, akala ko kaya nya ginagagawa yon kasi he really cares for me. I thought he was spoiling me because he really loves me.

Guess I've been so wrong. So so wrong.

I can't help but have this thoughts, kaya nya lang ba ginagawa yon dahil sa baby? Now that he knew that there's no baby, will he stop doing it altogether? Will he change his mind? Will he stop loving me? Or did he really love me?

Kaya ba... kaya nya lang ba sinabing mahal nya ko kasi akala nya magkakaanak kami?

Tell me I'm imagining things, but how can you explain all that, he never even liked me before. Tapos bigla, mahal nya na ko.

Dahil lang sinabihan ko syang mahal ko sya? Dahil lang akala nya buntis ako.

Tangina nya.

Tangina ko.

Because I fell for his antics. Baka nga. There's always a possibility. After nito, baka nga iwan nya na din ako. Alam kong wala na syang pinanghahawakan sakin, it wouldn't even take him a blink of an eye to leave me now.

There will be no strings attached to me anymore.

Iiwan nya na ko.

"Fucking Oh Sehun. Who told you to drink that much?! Gago ka, hindi kita dadalin sa higaan." I felt him kicking me.

"Jongin." Naramdaman kong hinatak nya ko sa dalawang braso para iangat sa balikat nya.

"Umayos ka nga, iinom inom kasi hindi naman kaya."

"Sabihin mo kay Chanyeol, pag iniwan nya ko..."

...pag iniwan nya ko—pag iniwan nya ko—ewan, blangko. Wala, hindi ko na alam. Wala na kong alam na gagawin ko. Masyado ko nang dinepende yung sarili ko sa akala kong mahal na sinasabi nya. Now, I don't know what I will do if he really leave me.

Naramdaman ko nalang na bumagsak ako sa kung anong malambot. Bahala na kung saan ako dinala ni Jongin. Sa ulap ata ako nilipad. Usually Chanyeol's the one who brings me to the clouds, whenever he kisses me, or touch me.