Above

34

Estelle
My breath hitches in my throat.
He focuses on me, dusting his thumb over my cheek.
"Yeah." I breathe, stuttering to get it out.
He grins, leaning in.
Our lips brush, both our eyes fluttering closed.
A pounding on the bathroom door pulls us apart.
Leeciy pulls on his black sweater, as if he was broken from a trance.
I hop off the counter, throwing the paper towels in the trash.
Leeciy opens the door, revealing a hefty woman with her kid.
"Excuse me." She says, snottily "This is a public bathroom, and you can't hog it."
Leeciy nods. "Sorry."
"Ugh, you better be." She pushes past him, shooing us out.
I walk out, next to Leeciy.
"Let's just get in the car." He says, only glancing at me.
I nod. "Alright."
***
A week passes, and the only thing that happens is we get back to Montana.
Leeciy's been cold to me, but still warm to everyone else, which kinda stings, but Luca told me that he'll probably get over it, he always does.
"What are you up to?" Nigel asks from behind me. 
I turn from the window of my motel room. "Thinking." 
"What about?" He asks.
The phrase in a stupid Australian accent runs through my head. "A penny for your thoughts?"
"Nothing." I reply, wringing my hands.
He leans next to me, his long, disheveled hair swishes when he looks over at me. "You hesitated, which means you're lying."
"How do you know that?" I ask.
He shrugs. "You do it a lot."

I roll my eyes.

"Anyway, what's up?" He asks.
I shrug. "I dunno."
He wraps an arm around my shoulders. "It's Leeciy, isn't it?"
I shrug, looking at the tacky-shag rug floor.
"I notice things, you know that, right?" He says. "And he's not speaking to you, and you're always looking at him."
I look up at him, raising a brow.

"He looks at you when you're not looking y'know, like with a total longing look in his eyes." Nigel says.
"How do you know a longing look is?" I ask.
He shrugs. "I'm a guy, I know a few things." He pauses. "Plus, I used to look at Jane like that, we even had a Polaroid of it in the old house, she took it back in the '90s." 
I sigh. "Do you miss her?"
He nods. "I try not to show it, I want Logan to think I'm strong."
"She does." I say. "You're her dad, she knows you as a superman."
He shakes his head. "I'm a scrawny scientist, far from a hero."
I pat his shoulder. "I'm sorry this happened."
"It's not your fault." He says.

I shrug. "Kinda is."

"Nobody knew they were coming, not even Cirus." He says, in my defense.
"Besides, nobody should have to lose their partner, especially not because of the US army."
He chuckles. "Kinda funny, hearing that from you."

I furrow my brows. "What do you mean?"
"You crashed when August died, you lost a loved one too, not just me."
"August wasn't that special to me." I say. "Just a friend."
Nigel laughs. "Keep telling yourself that, doll."
I furrow my brow again, but decide to stay silent.
Nigel sighs, playing with his hair.
I speak after a long, comfortable, silence. "What should I do about Leeciy?"
Nigel shrugs. "I'd tell him."
I stand from the window ledge we were sat on. "Alright." I grab my jacket from the bed, pulling it on.

"Where are you going?" He asks, grabbing my wrist lightly.

I half-smile. "I'm gonna go tell Leeciy how I feel."
"Now?!"

I shrug. "No time like the present."
***

I approach the door of the motel's makeshift gym, because Logan said I'd probably find him here.

I push open the door, not surprised to see him working at a punching bag.

This is probably one of the only times his mark is on display, since the muscle tee he wore

showed a lot of it.
"Hey." I call.
He tenses, turning around. "Hi." He runs a hand through his hair, his hair light grey because the sweat soaking it.

I grab a towel from the rack next to me, tossing it at him.
He murmurs a thanks, wiping his face.
"You've been avoiding me." I say, walking closer.
He shrugs.

"Why?" I ask. "Because if it's about the whole kiss thing, we could have just talked about it, you didn't have to stop talking to me."
"It's not that." Leeciy says.

I look at him expectantly. "What is it?"
"It's a long story." He says.
"I have time."

He turns back to the punching bag. "I don't."

I cross the small gym in a few steps, turning him back to face me. "Leeciy."
He sighs. "I can't tell you."

"What? Did you fall for Gabrie or something? 'Cause that's fine, I wish you would've told me, but it's okay."

Leeciy shakes his head.
"Then what?" I ask.

He shrugs.

"Tell me." I say. "Please."

He shakes his head. "Sorry."
I throw my head up and groan. "Leeciy, please."
"I don't want to lose you." He shrugs.
"You won't." I say. "You'll never get rid of me."
"I'm afraid of you." He breathes. "Like terrified."

I furrow my brows. "How am I scary?"
"You won't understand." He shakes his head. 
"Then help me understand! Because it hurts when you ignore me!" I say, letting my voice get louder. 
He turns away. "Just go." 
I pause. "No." 
"Go." His tone was frozen. 
"No." I say, matching his tone. "I won't leave until you tell me why you've been so cold." 
He turns back to me, fire in his eyes. "I'm falling for you and it scares the hell out of me!" 
"Leeciy--" I say. 
He turns away. "You can go now." 
"I'm not going anywhere." I reply. 
He sighs. "It might hurt you when I ignore you, but it hurts when your near me, because once I let you in, you're gonna run away." 
"I'm not running away." 
"I don't want to lose someone again, not after my dad." He sighs, turning back to me. "I don't want to hurt that bad again." 
I reach my hand out to touch his bicep. "I won't hurt you." 
He dodges my hand, looking at me panicked. "I, um, have to go." He starts rushing out of the gym. 
"Wait!" I yell after him, jogging behind him, but he was gone.