Some Day We Might (Muke)

Chapter Sixteen

"Did you even hear what I just said?" Luke asks, looking at me concernedly. He moves from his bed to mine. "Are you okay? Is it because of Ashton?"

I snap out of my blank stare at the ground."No-- I mean, yes, but I'm fine." I sigh. I wish it was easier to tell him I'm not fine. I wouldn't tell him though, because this isn't about me--my problems can be dealt with later. It's about Ashton getting better. And I almost cut again, god I'm such a selfish fucking prick.

"Whatever you say, Michael." he says, and lays down next to me, facing the other side and turning out the lamp next to him.

"You're not giving me the silent treatment, are you?" I complain, and cuddle close to him. "Lukey?"

"Stop saying your fine." I hear a soft sniffle. Oh, babe, please don't cry. "You always say that, and you make me feel like such a pussy for being the only one who's upset, but I know you're not fine. Why do you have to lie to me? Me of all people."

No, please do not make me feel guilty Luke. And telling you the truth will only make me feel guiltier. "You're not a pussy."

"I don't care about--god, Michael, that's not why I'm upset. I just wish you wouldn't fake your feelings around me. You don't have to act all strong and shit."

I sigh, and warp my arms around him, resting my forehead on his back. "It's not that simple. I am upset. Trust me. I just deal with it differently."

He finally rolls over to face me. He brings his arms around me, and buries his face in my neck. He sighs, letting a puff of warm air onto my skin. "I'm tired."

I rub his back softly. "Then sleep."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"What if Ashton has another break down? If Calum calls--"

"I'll wake you up if Calum calls." I say.

"You have to sleep too."

"I will. I'm a light sleeper." I kiss his forehead. "Just go to sleep."

I feel him relax into my arms, and ten minutes later I hear the soft sound of his breathing--little puffs of air coming out of his mouth. I run my fingers through his soft hair until I feel tired too. I let myself slip out of consciousness--the only time when I'm truly at ease.

- - - -

(*LUKE'S POV*) 

I open my eyes, squinting at the sunlight. I feel Michael's arms around me, and smile at him laying there with his eyes closed. He's so beautiful and he doesn't even realise it. I would stare at him forever if I could, but I imagine I would creep him out if I looked at him 24/7.

Even though he's asleep I kiss him on the lips, hoping not to wake him. I don't get to kiss him enough. And I don't want to push it either--I don't want him to get sick of me or feel smothered.

He starts to wake up, and opens his eyes, looking up at me hovering over him. "Creeping on my while I'm asleep?" he jokes.

"Uh...no...?"

"Nice try, Luke...I felt you kiss me."

My cheeks turn red. "Uh..."

"You're allowed to kiss me you know..."

"I know." I say, trying to conceal my embarrassment. I put my hands over my face. "You were just really cute and I couldn't help myself, and I know that's really weird because you were asleep." I say really quickly.