don't kill me
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We arrived to the carnival a few minutes after 5 and I was still processing what Luke had told me in the car. Ashton, in love with me? This can't be happening. I have to be dreaming. I have to wake up. Maybe if I pinch myself, I'll wake up. Nope, this is real, and that kinda hurt.
This sorta explains why Ashton has been depressed and looking empty inside lately. Just the thought of him taking anti-depressant pills, cutting, and having a drinking problem because of me, makes me have this wall of guilt inside of me. I know I did nothing wrong, but it feels like I did.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when Luke waved his hands in front of my face.
"Earth to Kadee." I put his hand down and laughed.
"Sorry, just thinking."
"Ready to go?" He asked. I nodded excitedly. I got out of the car, grabbing my phone and the handle of my tank. Luke took my hand and we walked into the carnival entrance.
-
"Come on, Luke. Just hit the bottles! You can do it!" I cheered him on. He was trying to knock bottles over to win a prize and he wasn't doing well. It was hard, I tried and failed. On his last ball, he hit the bottles right in the middle and knocked them all over. He put his hands up in victory and cheered.
"I'M THE CONQUEROR OF ALL BOTTLES!" He yelled into the sky. I laughed and kissed his lips.
"Dork."
"But I'm your dork." The man handed Luke a semi-huge panda and then Luke handed it to me.
"Luke, this is yours."
"No, it's yours now."
"Thank you," I kissed him, "Can we put it in the car though, I can't carry it." He took it from me and we walked to the car. He stuffed it in the trunk. We went back to the carnival to ride the ferris wheel.
As soon as we got to the top and it stopped. The fireworks started to go off and I started to stare in amazement. I'm 17 and I've never seen fireworks. Luke giggled and kissed my cheek.
A firework blew up in the sky and it read, "Kadee, will you be my girlfriend?" I looked at Luke with my mouth agape.
"Well, will you?" I nodded excitedly and hug him.
"I love you, Luke." I said into his shirt. He kissed my head and said, "I love you too, Kadee." The Ferris wheel started again and didn't stop until we reached the bottom. We thanked the woman for letting us on and went back to the car.
"Thank you Luke for this wonderful night." I said as we backed out of the drive way.
"Thank you for not rejecting me again." He smirked. I laughed and started to look at the window.
"Are you getting hungry?" He asked.
"Yeah, wanna stop for something?" He nodded and turned into a little complex that had a bunch of restaurants ((a/n) i don't know if they have these in Australia but this an alternative universe and MY fanfic so i will do whatever i want) We saw a McDonald's and pulled into a driveway.
"Hi, welcome to McDonald's. What can I get for you today?" Said a very perky waiter asked.
"What do you want?" He whispered.
"Just some chicken nuggets with a Sprite."
"Hi, can I get a 10 piece Chicken McNugget meal with a Sprite?"
"Sure. Is that all for you today?"
"And a Big Mac meal with a coke, please?"
"That'll be $15.50 at the next window."
"Thank you." Luke drove up to the next window and patiently waited for the man to come to window.
(skipping the payment and them getting food because i'm too lazy to write it)
"Thank you for buying me dinner." I said.
"Don't worry about it, Kadee. You are now my princess and I will do anything to keep you happy." He kissed my lips and pulled into a parking spot.
"Can you give me a new pair of lungs?" I laughed.
"I wish, but that's the only thing I can't do."
I opened my chicken nuggets and began to eat them. I scrolled through twitter and saw that Niall tweeted something about me and I have like 50,000 followers now. Man, Niall.Your fans really love you.
My phone started ringing and I saw that Ashton was calling.
"Hello?"
"Kadee, it's Ashton."
"Hey, Ash. What's up?" Luke looked at me in confusion and I shrugged.
"How fast can you get to the West Gate Bridge?"
"A few minutes. Why?"
"I'm so close. My legs are dangling off the edge and one wrong move and plop. I'm a goner."
"Ashton, what are you talking about?" I say with tears in my eyes.
"My life is worthless. The ocean is my destiny. It's calling me."
"Ash, stay on the line with me." I take my phone away from my ear and tell Luke, "Go to West Gate Bridge. Now." Luke did not ask me twice before taking the car out of park and rushing out of the McDonald's parking lot.
"Kadee, I'm standing up."
"Ashton, sit down."
"But, I want to see if I can fly." Those words made tears come to my eyes.
"Ashton, don't do this."
"But, if I die, we can be together." We got to the bridge, with my phone to my ear.
"Ashton, don't!"
"I love you." Those were his last words before his body fell to the bottom of the ocean.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I fell to my knees and cried into my hands. This was my fault. I was the reason for moving here. I was the reason for meeting Ashton. I was the reason Ashton was depressed. I was the reason he fucking killed himself!
"It's going to be okay." Luke tried to comfort me.
"IT'S MY FAULT!" I screamed.
"What's your fault?"
"It's my fault that Ashton killed himself." Luke knelt down and put me in his arms. I sobbed into his chest until I got up and walked to the bridge. I looked down and I see a dark ocean, that know has the body of one of my best friends in it. "Why? Why do I have to fuck up everybody's life? First my parents, then Calum's, then Ashton and your's. I deserve to die."
"Kadee Lulu Richard! Don't you ever say that about yourself, AGAIN!"
"When did you learn my full name?"
"Doesn't matter. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me and you don't deserve to die," he got closer to me and cupped my face with his hands, "You are the most beautiful person in the entire world and I never want you to leave. I love you so much." He deeply kissed me. When we parted, he wiped the tears that were astray on my cheek.
"I love you more, Luke."
-
brb CRYING
