Smoke my dope

red rimmed eyes

A/N anything in italicsthis chapter is someone rapping or singing. 💞

Enjoy 😂

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Have you ever been so in love with someone, that when they're around you feel giddy? Like a kid in a candy store? So in love that being without them felt like torture. You check every 5 mins for a text or a call, you check they're social media to see what theyve been doing? So fucking in love that when you feel like you've lost them its like youre heart has been dug out of your chest and stamped on. Thats what i feel like now.

I was currently on the phone to Sara crying my heart out. Jah had phoned Danny to tell him about what had happened but he couldn't make out what i was saying. so now i was talking to sara after her trying to calm me down for two hours.

"Look babe, if anyone knows anything about hard relationships its me. You guys are just heated. You'll talk it out" she said softly down the phone.

"I cant loose him sara, hes everything to me" i cried. I was madurely drunk at this point.

" You're not gonna lose him babe. I promise" she said. There was a suggle behind the phone.

"Alzen you gotta calm down babita or im coming out there to get you" he said, he sounded worried and i didnt want to worry him.

"Im calm" i said sniffling.

"Ok, you gotta try and sleep, you're going to be a'ite once you soper up and sleep" he said softly. His tone still sounding worried.

"Ok Danny" i said. We spoke for a little while longer before he had to go. I went to bed and lay down. I tried to phone Gazzy again. Thats the 7th time in 3 hours. Purp has already told me he put Gazzy to bed after he drowned himself in jack daniels.

I felt like i had broken him. I was broken too. I knew i was finna get my ass beat when i told Danny about Trippie. I actually hated him. I lay my head on the pillow and cried some more, i dont remember when or if i stopped, i only remmember drifting off.

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The next morning i was woken with my room bear being beaten on. At first i thought it was Gazzy here to talk things out but it wasn't.

"ZEN OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I BUST THIS SHIT DOWN" i heard Yachty shout. I dragged myself to the door as he came in. He saw my red rimmed eyes and pulled me into a hug, he came in and opened the door. Jah and Ski were with him. They all hugged me before coming in and lying over my bed.

"You look like shit ma" Ski said. He never was one for keeping his mouth shut.

"Thanks Stoke, you're so kind" i mumbled as i lay on thr bed with Jah and Ski as Yachty sat on the arm chair. Jah hugged me as i started crying again.

"I fucked up so bad" i said.

"Yeah, you did" Yachty said. "But its not something thats worthy of ending a relationship for. And Pump knows that, you should go see him" he said as he sat on his phone.

"I cant face him yet guys" i said shaking my head.

"You wanna hang out with us today?" Jah asked. "I dont want you being on your own in this state" he said as he wiped tears away from my eyes.

"Well what you guys doing?" I asked.

"Studio" Yachty said.

"You dont mind if i come?" I asked them. They all said no.

I went to tell Kerr and Brian i was going with Ski and Jah but they had already gone to explore the area so i left them a note at reception and left.

When we got to the studio, Jah was in the other room smoking while Ski showed me how to work the sound board. Yachty played a beat and i nodded my head to it.

"I like this beat" i said. "Its slower than you usually go" i said.

"Its not my beat. Its a throw away for an old album i did." He told me. Suddenly my mind was working and i smiled.

"Mind if i do something with it?" I asked. Ski smiled and leaned back in his hair.

"Go for it ma" he smiled. I grabbed a pen and paper and went in the booth. I started writing to the beat and Ski played it a few times.

After the 3rd or 4th play i had a song. I nodded to Ski, Jah had now joined us again as i was about to start. I let the beat kick in before i started rapping.

Its been a crazy few years, this girl done lost tears,
I been faced with some of my biggest fears,
I been crying for help while no body hears,
I been feeling like im under pressure coz of my peers,
I really felt like lifes taken a turn,
recently ive crashed and burned,
Thoughts of deception, and ill intentions,
I went from juvinial detentions to being on Twitter mentions,
And the money means nothing when times are tough,
Been crying the since the first time i saw brother in cuffs,
And been standing strong but people be calling my bluff
Lost my damn mind ive been having it ruff,
Seeing people succeed while i watched in lust,
Sick of sitting here full of disgust.
Gotta weave my self out of miles of mistrust.

I started singing the hook.

Baby wont you ear my cries,
You dont see whats behind,
These red rimmed eyes.
Red rimmed eyes00

I stopped and ski stopped the track.

"DAMN MA YOU GOT BARZ" Ski shouted.

"You finna finnish it?" Yachty asked.

"Yeah" i said as the track played from before the last bar.

I spent 3 hours finishing the song. When it was finished i was so proud. Jah said he was gonna fix it up and email it to me. I was gonna speak to Danny about maybe puting it out.

I was so happy that i got to get some experience with what i wanted to do. Jah said he might even have a track he wants me to do. I was excited, i loved being creative. I spent the whole day with them. I had never been so thankful to have these three as friends in my life.

I spend so long working on the songs and watching them work i hadn't checked my phone. When i checked it i had a missed call from Gazzy and a text.

My Gaz🤞🥀: come over when you ready to talk

I read it and imediatly jumped up.

"JAH CAN YOU DRIVE ME TO GAZZYS" i shouted panicking. He didnt even as questions he just bounced up and grabbed his keys.

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A/N

Lol sorry that rap was trash, but its her first song give her a break 😂