Love Me Bitterly Loath Me Sweetly

Chapter 20 *Will The Rain Ever Stop?*

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ORIHIME

I walked out of the car, protected by my black umbrella, into the graveyard, a place I frequent, and noticed a cruel irony in the gravestone. It stood there with its youthful glow, strong, erect, ready to last a hundred years or more. I scanned the name of whom it belonged to. 'Masaki Kurosaki' tears gathered around the corner of my eyes.

I respectfully bowed to her. "Masaki-San, you've no idea how much I miss you each and every day." Tears freely stream down my face and chin and fall onto the ground, becoming one with the rain water. "I confessed my love to Kurosaki-Kun." I tried to be strong. "But, as you might have already known, he doesn't have the same feelings for me." I rushed to ease her worry for me. "And don't be worried, Rangiku-San has helped me cope with it." The muscles in my chin tremble, lips quivering. "It's too much to bear, the thought that he doesn't love me at all and I've caused him so much pain. It still hurts, Masaki-San." Struggling to keep the tears silent, looking up to the watery skies and heaven beyond, under my umbrella. "I'll be the best doctor in town, as I've promised you," I said, wiping the tears that had escaped and looking down at the gravestone again. "I will work hard and I'll become Captain Unohana's apprentice. I will make you proud." Fresh tears pooled behind my eyes as I remembered that day. Her flesh returns to the soil, her life extinguished. "Thanks so much for everything. I love you so much and I terribly miss you. Kurosaki-Kun also misses you. I know he doesn't say it or see you often, but he loves you a lot." My walls, the walls that held me up, made me strong, just collapsed. Moment by moment, they fall. Salty drops fall from my chin, drenching my shirt. "Please take care of us." I soaked in her memory. "I could use one of your hugs." It's raw; tears, raw emotions. "Why can I not stop crying? I came to show you my strength. I can't hide anything from you, can I? I love him so much, so much that it hurts." As much as I tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from the throat in the form of a silent scream. Time passed, yet I stood there crying. I looked at the gravestone, reminding me of my weakness. "If I were a doctor back then, I'd never let you die. Then you wouldn't have to protect me." I said, wiping my tears with the hem of my sleeves. That was of no use. My tears wouldn't stop. "I've got to be strong to lead my own life." I tried to wipe away my tears. "I've got to live for my goal so I can protect it. I'll heal it all." As my fingers tightened around the curved wooden handle of my umbrella and I struggled to breathe against the crying. "You give me strength." I kissed my hand and put my hand on her gravestone. 

"I'll be living in Seireitei from now on until I learn everything from Captain Unohaha. I have to work harder to be worthy of becoming her apprentice." Finding courage. "Then, I'll find another place and live separately. I don't want to burden Uncle Gin and Rangiku-San any more than I already have. I haven't told them my plan, but I know when the time will come they will understand." I bowed my head. "I'll miss this place." I raised my head and stared up at the rainy sky. "Karakura town." I sighed. "It's my hometown and it's where I found you and fell in love with Kurosaki-Kun." Tears streamed down my cheeks like a waterfall, but I wiped them away with my hand and smiled at her, hopeful. The skies roar above. "See, even the sky is crying because I'm parting from the city. My heart is also crying because I'm parting from it." I bowed one last time. "I don't know where life will take me, but I assure you that my heart will forever belong to Kurosaki-Kun. And thank you so much for everything. I love you." My heart was pounding in my chest. "I'll live my life as proudly as I can. I won't let your, onii-cha's and my mother's sacrifice be in vain. From now on, I'll live my life according to my rules." They've all given me strength. "I won't be a walking stone for anyone anymore." I gulped. Masaki-San's words rang in my ears. 'I'll be with you forever, hime-cha.' I smiled, and kissed her gravestone. "You'll be with me forever." Those were my last words as I walked away, further to another gravestone. This time it was my brother. 'Sora Inoue.'