Love Me Bitterly Loath Me Sweetly

Chapter 39 *Thank you*

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Ichigo's POV.
14 July, 2008

1:56 pm.When I left her house, I sighed with shame and relief that I had to leave her. She looked as if she were expecting me to kiss her, and why was my Hollow so quiet? I had this nightmarish vision that if I gave in, I wouldn't have stopped at the kiss. I felt warmth in my cheeks. 

This was the first time I didn’t have sex when I pinned a girl down. "This was not me." "I have sex, and I leave." I tried to remember other stuff that I did, but it was all so bleary. There were bite marks and hickeys on her body—of course I did that, but why couldn't I remember the details? I suspected afterward that it was my lack of sleep that made me do things out of character. 

I looked out the window and sighed, and then there were her hot tears this morning—once they fell from her eyes, they wouldn't stop, falling fast and thick onto my shirt. She apologized, and I almost felt like forgiving her. So I did the only thing I could do—I wiped her tears.

Rolling down the mirror, the fresh air hit against my face, but it didn't clear my head. How the lies poured out of my mouth, without any guilt or remorse, now makes me disgusted. I was not a wise man, but I felt sick lying to Inoue. She saw through me, though. She was hurt but hid it well behind her smile. I wanted to believe that her reason for saying yes was because I was rich, but the way she kept saying "I love you" no matter how hard I tried to convince myself she was after my money, maybe she said yes because she still bore the guilt of taking my mother away from us. For all I said, I suspected she was not convinced she was forgiven, that I loved her, and that she could be more to me than the fruit of my hatred. "That's the truth, isn't it?" I asked myself.

I reached the main house at 1:56 p.m. I walked into Dad's study room. I found more than I bargained for. A man with sliver hair and the eyes of the devil—I knew there would be someone against the marriage. There always is. When he saw me there, his grimace turned into a frown.

I offered him a smile. "Nice to meet you too, Uncle Gin." I kept my voice soft, but that made it sarcastic because Gin's mouth curled as if he were testing something disgusting. Then Gin walked toward the window. Only then did my father begin to relax. "Congratulations, son."    His voice was high. "You always had my blessing." He squeezed my shoulders. Then he turned to Gin. "You know, it's not over yet," he said, smiling ruefully. "Orihime-san will have a wonderful life with Ichigo; I promise you that."

Gin approached me until he stood in my face. "I don't want that promise from your father, but from you." His voice emerged from deep within his chest. "Tell me, Kurosaki... " he peered, searching through my soul. "Have you forgiven her? Do you love her?"

I felt my face controlled by anger, but I didn't want to upset my fiancee's uncle. "That's between me and my fiance, Gin."

He nodded, apparently irritated, and took a step back, as if he already knew, so I glanced at my father. "I take it he knows..."

Dad gave a small nod.

Gin scoffed. "I take it Hime doesn't know about the contract."

I forced myself to breathe deeply and stay calm, then I told him the truth. "She doesn't need to know. We're getting married; that's what's important."

He grabbed my collar, choking me with his tight hold. "Or maybe you don't trust her enough to tell her the truth!" 

"That's enough, Gin!" Dad roared. He was probably afraid I might lose my temper. I would've, but I couldn't afford to piss Gin off. Inoue had great regard for her uncle, and I wouldn't make a mistake after getting this close. I couldn't afford to make a mistake.