My Bias Wrecker

f o u r t e e n

Hyung was on top of me. I held my breath and clenched my eyes shut as he leaned closer, ravishing his lips into mine.

I tried to push him but he was too big and strong I couldn't defeat him. Instead he just stopped kissing me, but he didn't spare to move a little, not making a distance between his body and mine.

"Now say what I want to hear. Answer me." He said in a low husky tone.

I looked away from tugging my sight from his eyes, or else he would devour my entire soul and he'd probably hypnotized me with those dark orbs. "I-I'm not. Hyung... I don't think that would ever happen."

Suddenly he pulled me up, before I knew I was on top of him making me sit on his lap. "Hyung! What the hell are you doing?!" I heard him groan from the sudden contact.

I felt something weird under me. There is this weird-unidentified shit twitching from his pants. I don't know.

"You better answer me or else I'll make you scream my name right here!" He said and I heard him let a laugh.

I blushed from the sight and the thought of him putting words into my mouth. " I-I already told you, I don't know! Maybe I am jealous! But I don't really know!"

"I only heard I am jealous" he said then he chuckled. Suddenly he leaned closer, he rested his forehead into mine then he kissed me.

Once again I felt those soft lips in mine, somehow it felt amazing. But I just clenched my eyes shut, not wanting to move my own lips, but I ended responding to him.

It felt wonderful, or maybe that's not the word, this is actually the first time I became honest with him, or maybe not. I never felt jealousy before, I never did. And he was just right there making me admit to myself that, maybe I was, for I realized what I felt from last night when he was with that girl, when I once looked at the scenery and felt something aching somewhere in my heart. It was so beautiful, I want him to share the view with me, but knowing that he was there because of business, not to have fun like I thought we would. It hurts my feelings, and maybe I became so jealous of everything that takes him away from me.

Did you just became dependent, Saera? Please, not again.

It was all sudden, I snapped and took my lips from his, eventually I slapped him, though I didn't put much force doing it, but it was enough to unclasp our souls, putting distance between his body and mine, between those precious lips of his although it was kissed by many.

I felt myself blushed from his reaction, he looked cute cupping his right cheek with his pouted lips. He was looking at me as if I have hurt his entire existence just by slapping him where in fact I have kicked his crotch before.

"You've been doing things like this Taehyung. Can't you understand what I've told you before this marriage? I told you about not kissing nor touching me. Aren't you happy that I allowed you to talk to me, to sleep with me in one room? I don't get it. Are you an idiot, putting words in my mouth when you already see that im confused and I don't even know the answer. Lastly, stop making me do things, hyung. Stop kissing me and making me respond to your kisses, because we both know you're not worth it." I exclaimed, still sitting on his lap. I witnessed him with those fading expression of his, from showing a cute one, it turned to be soft and hurt, with my words.

I clenched my fist. I tried to gather my self and stood up from his lap, I saw him looked away, which resulted to my heart sting. I gulped. I walked few steps from him towards the stairs.

" Can I ask you something?"

I looked toward him, his hand was no longer touching his cheek but his gaze weren't on mine.

"Can you please stop breaking my heart, Kim Saera?"

I gulped. It was my cue to continue walking towards the stairs. I opened the guest room where I would be staying, I guess for the whole week, or maybe for the month. I'll just wait for the situation to soften and I'll see what I could do.

I let out a sigh. And let another one from another one. I just don't get it. Why do I feel like I was guilty. It's not my fault. He's the one who forced me to act that way to him. I don't mean to break his heart. And how come I break his heart after hearing me say those words? I've been scolding and treating him not really well, but he was acting like it was his first time hearing me say such bad words towards him. And although they were bad words, they were also right. I just stated the fact to his face. Breaking my heart his shit.

I clenched my fist and drop my body to the bed, facing the mattress.

My heart also aches hyung, right after hearing you...

I shouted and punch the bed, wiggled my legs from the frustration Taehyung has brought to me.

Why are you having this effect to me hyung?

Why do I feel like I have hurt you so much, and it was reflecting to me, like all of those harsh words I've thrown to you were coming back and attacking me.

I have know Taehyung for years, even when we were still close friends, when he left me for his girl, and when he came back and married me...I have only complained to this feeling two times.

I felt sting in my heart, I felt it crashing from seeing him like that, though the first time I felt this was when I was in high school, he was in college, and I know to myself it was his fault, he was the one to blame. I only felt hurt because he left me, I saw it like he chose someone else over me, but that's what I thought. Now,  I think it was his fault too, but why do I feel like I'm at it again. He just bullshit my heart, throbbing hard cause it hurts too much.

Because of frustration I shouted in my bed and felt tears, soaking both the mattress and my eyes.