My Bias Wrecker

t w e n t y t h r e e

It was near the evening and I had to sleep after watching the movies we've watched. I don't know but suddenly I feel so tired and the ambiance of the room didn't seem to be really good right now.

Lying in your very own bed must have been the very best thing I felt after being in that damned hospital I was in for 2 days. I exhaled and felt the mattress on my back. The cozy feeling reminded me of the things I've experienced a few days ago.

I was hospitalized by somewhat unknown reason and I was even confined for something I'm not even conscious of. I directed my eyes to the ceiling and met the shiny pect of embellishment representing the stars just outside the house, shinning freely from above the sky. I shuffled to the bed and reach for the lamp on the bedside table and turned it off. 

My eyes merely met the darkness but then the stars on my ceiling was fighting the dark surrounding and was able to overpower it.  The strips of the light, almost as thin as a thread shone through my eyes as my own hands tried to reach for their lights.

I blinked my eyes and let out a sigh, dropping both of my hands on my side and clenched my eyes shut. Soon I breathed heavily, not even knowing the reason of any acting so unusual to the unknown feeling. I felt my heart sting, and I only clenched my fists as I felt tears brimming down my cheeks. I wanted to breathe. Heavily. Taking in the situation.

The feeling of being lost wasn't new to me, but the feeling of being lost again with different, unknown, and from uncertain, causes just how I defined it myself were the reasons of my feeling like this. Letting the tears flush through my cheeks as I have.

I felt somewhat betrayed, barely even thinking of being taken care of. I felt betrayed among the feelings I barely know.

Suddenly, there was a light that shone on my night just below my feet. 

I don't heavily as I felt Taehyung presence. The bed creaked and I felt the side of the bed plunge down as Taehyung sat. The sobbing became helpless, as I, too, felt like I became one. I could only recognize groggy voice that I claim to be his comforting and genuine words. He caressed my cheeks and wipe the tears in my eyes as he shush me from tearing up violently.

"W-whats happening to me?" I started to ask. The course, and intensity of my feelings shouldn't be kept off, as I hate uncertainess and unknown.

I never hear him answer, until I shrug him off and hid under the blanket who once was cozy and now become secretive.

I woke up from a really bad headache.

I slowly sat up and suddenly put my hand in front of my eye. I panted from the pain I felt. I just looked up to the ceiling and gently placed my hands to support my head from throwing it back because of the pain.

I didn't know where the pain came from, but it most likely coming from my not being able to take my meds last night.

I rested my head against the headboard and shivered from the memories of last night.

Right after hyung left me in the room, I started to pant. And I heave and suddenly started to grasp for air. I clenched my eyes under the sheets.

My surroundings started to become blur, I don't think the air was actually reaching my lungs. Because it all felt like I was drowning.

I reached for my throat, wishing that if I gently caress it, the air would come in. But there was none.

I felt warm drops of tears flushed my cheeks. My arms were tired enough to drop in my side. I felt helpless.

The memories from last night still lingered in my mind even when I was eating lunch with Taehyung.

Why would such thing appear in me, it's not even a dream. I felt it. I felt drowning. I felt how something liquid reach my throat down to my lungs, instead of it being air.

I really did drown, but why? Why did I encounter such thing?

"Sae?" I heard Taehyung. "Is there something wrong? Are you okay?"

I placed the fork in my plate and sighed. I looked down and averted my eyes from his gaze.

"You didn't take your meds last night." He reached for my hands and he gently caressed them. "Did you sleep well? You should eat a lot, baby. Your Mom and Dad would be mad if they found out about you depriving your meds."

He placed a finger on my chin and made me look up to him. He smiled at me and he chuckled. "You'll just have to take your meds inches a day, every night before you sleep. That's all. It's not a bother, Sae. I promise you."

I just nodded at him and continue eating. I really don't know what's happening to me. But I hope this doesn't continue.

"You'll be taking a week off from school. And while you're here, I'll take a week from work too. Knowing that you need someone with you here. I don't want your parents knowing that you burned down the house cooking for yourself." He said and he laughed.

"You piece of shit!" I threw him the napkin I used. "I'm the one who cooks for you before the accident, now you're saying I might burn the house down if you weren't here?! What a pain you are." I said and just rolled my eyes at him.