Messy- Fifth Harmony

72

Narrator's POV

"I cannot say sorry enough for what I put you through, Lauren. I needed to find a way to disconnect from you, no hope for a future me and you. Looking back on it, there's a lot more I could've done, but I was just a kid and took the first solution that came to mind." Lucy pauses for a moment, reflecting on the person that she was back then. 

"The truth is that I was scared. My uncle played a huge role in who I was growing up, My dad was always out of town and touring around the world. I lived in his house, constantly surrounded by his homophobic slander. I looked up to him, so his beliefs rubbed off on me. Growing up like that felt so natural until I realized that I had feelings for you. Everything seemed to topple over itself, my world was turned upside down. It felt like my whole life was a lie up until then, and honestly, it was. He moved out of the country and I started living with my brother. I magically felt more comfortable around you, around myself even. That's when we started dating, I asked you to be my girlfriend the day after he moved away. My thought processes began to change, I really had feelings for you. Those years we spent together hold a lot of my favorite memories. When he got back and began bashing on the community again, I started to doubt those years. I actually managed to get past those thoughts, but all my progress was thrown down the drain the day the two of you met." Lauren shifts uncomfortably as she notices that Lucy is being genuine with her right now. The other girl seems almost afraid of an event that happened years ago.

"He came to me that night saying that he knew you had a thing for me and that you didn't deserve to live another day. He was threatening your life, Lauren. Just because of his belief that you liked me romantically. That's not the first time he threatened somebody that was like us, but that was the one time I let his words get to me. If he found out that we were dating, I genuinely think he would have found a way to take you out. I needed to get you out of the picture because I cared about you and wanted to protect you. The only way I knew you wouldn't fight for us is if I made you believe that it wasn't real for me." Both girl's demeanors have changed. The heaviness of the topic has been weighing both of them down for their individual reasons for so long and the weight is slowly starting to lift.

"That was the worst day of my life. I moved to Louisiana a few weeks later to get away from him and all the memories of us. While I'm getting things off of my chest, I have to tell you something else." Lauren responds with a simple nod. She was just given a lot of information to process and it's still trying to sink in. "To be honest, I don't think I ever got over you. Sure, I've dated around, but I haven't held a relationship for more than a few months. And I've always ended up comparing them to you before freaking out and ending things with them."

It takes Lauren a few seconds to process that too, out of all the things she expected to be said today, that was not an anticipated topic. "I don't really know what you want me to say. I don't even know what I want to say. That was a lot." Lucy knew everything would be a little overkill on the younger girl's mind. "I don't expect anything from you. The fact that you gave me the time of day to explain all of this was more than I deserve." 

"Don't say that, Lucy. You deserve everything. I had no clue you went through that and I'm so sorry that you had to. Thank you for convincing me to hear you out." 

The two catch each other up a little on how their studies have gone and how their past few years have been until Dinah starts texting Lauren nonstop to see if she is okay. The brunette filled the blonde in on her plans in case if the meeting went wrong and they knew who to go after. 

"I guess I better head out then, Dinah and I always set aside time to eat dinner with each other at least once a week and she chose today to be that day." Lauren begins to collect her things, satisfied with how things have gone today.

"Oh... Okay, don't let me stop you. Can you tell Dinah that I said hi? I haven't spoken to her since we were together, I figured she would be there for you and wouldn't like me anymore after what I did." Lauren picks up on the older girl's reluctance to ask her, "Of course I can! I'm sure she will understand now and maybe we can all hang out some time. Like the good old days." She replies with a laugh.

"I mean, you have my number. Just give me a call or text me. I'm down to hang with you alone or with your friends if you will have me."

~ ~ ~ ~

And that's exactly what happened, the two became even more acquainted with each other again through texting. Texting lead to meeting weekly at a coffee shop or bar. Lauren wanted to get a little more comfortable around Lucy before reuniting her with Dinah. When she filled her friend in on everything that Lucy told her, Dinah was still reluctant about her. Now that they have been talking for a while, she is ready for her to see Dinah again and meet her other friends.

I haven't read over this or made edits yet. I've been working on coding assignments all night (my programming professor is very particular with what he wants) before finishing this chapter up and I wanted to finally post it, so I will likely make edits here shortly. 

I can't believe that this story has actually gotten any attention at all. It has changed so much from my initial plans but I like how it turned out. I wanted to give you guys a warning that this story is almost completed. I think the next chapter may be the last one, but I may have plans for a sequel?? Well... I have the plans but don't know if anybody would be interested in a sequel. I also have no clue what to name it. Why is the title one of the most difficult parts of writing a story?