Kenny McCormick and 7 years of train rides. (South Park in Hogwarts.)

The curse of the McCormicks.

'It would change around a lot, the things I was allowed to do from ages of 2 to this day. Sometimes I could go outside and talk to my friends (play in the field close to Bebe's home or go out to Token's for dinner. Or lunch sometimes.)

Sometimes I had to sit in my room because I was... different. My dad didn't understand and my mother, even with her best efforts, was unable to make me likeable.

I don't understand what is wrong with me. All I know is... I can't die. Depressing.. someone who is barely 11 has already been close to death... well, you see...

...the universe seems to think I should have died but there is something wrong. I don't die. And when I wake up, it's all hazy for a moment and I feel a terrible feeling in the bit of my stomach. When I was younger, I would puke until I died due to not being able to breath and wake up the next day.

My dad says it's witchcraft. My mother says that it could be. But my dad insists that witches are wrong... that they're evil. I don't want to be evil!

My other brother will always come by and play uno with me, I would call myself the best at reading poker faces after I have read his for this long. It's like a superpower! Kinda like Superman, I guess, I'm not really big on Superman. I like batman but Batman doesn't have superpowers. Maybe i'm kind of like Batman but with the ability to read poker faces.

My sister, who is quite a bit younger than me, is, according to my dad, the spawn of Satan. I don't think so, I love my sister. She just does weird things.

Sometimes she'll get angry and make someone turn into a ballon. It's scary but also really funny. I do it as well, it's not for fun. It's for when I'm in danger. Obviously I don't use it as much, seeing as I have no need. I won't die.

But Karen, my sister, can be really scary. Ones she just stared at my dad and a beer can hit him in the way. Admittedly, he had just called the definition of evil.

My mother is awesome! She keeps telling us stories about this huge castle in Scotland and how 'she was sure we would belong there.' According to her, her mother and father had been there and she was sure we would too.

She says there is a table for the smart, the loyal, the cunning and the brave. I don't really understand how anyone would like to be cunning but she says there is nothing wrong with it... I don't know. Reminds me of snakes or oh dear lord, ducks.

One more thing about me, ducks are scary as all heck in my opinion. I feel like I should explain but... I really can't. I would rather not discuss why ducks are scary.

Karen likes ducks but is afraid of bears. I like bears a lot, they're not scary. I wouldn't hesitate to jump to the defence of Karen if a bear were to attack her.

Mother says I'm one of the brave people... I like that idea. I like the idea of being brave. Smart people are nerds and Loyal people are more often than not, naive. But nothing is wrong with bravery. Plus, I don't think I like there 'cunning people', they sound like ducks.

My brother, Kevin, also says I'm brave. Although when he walks away from me he says 'And stupid' but hey, at least I'm not a cunning person. I don't like the idea of being cunning.

Mother also tells me there is a lot of food in the castle. It makes me wonder... is the place even real? Why would I be invited to a castle, let alone one where I could EAT. I don't quite understand why someone would invite me... but I guess it's possible to some point but I would have to pay and I don't think I would have enough. But yeah, gotta hold onto hope or at least some kind of a wish.

My family is not exactly rich. We're in fact, on the opposite side of the spectrum. And this castle sounds like a museum... which you normally need to pay to enter. However, mother insists that she thinks it's going to be fine.

I don't know why I even keep writing these. Maybe I wish that someday my letters go into an important persons mailbox and something happens. I don't know what, i just keep wishing. But if when it's September 1st and I'm not in the castle, I may or may not lose the last of my hope... at least some of the last.

~Kenny McCormick, from the house with no mailbox.'

As I stare at my own letter, I take it into my hands and quickly rip it in many many parts. It wouldn't be useful anyway.

"WHAT KIND OF WIZARDRY IS THIS?" Dad screams.

I leave my room to go there. Around his head, is screeching a very beautiful screech owl. If not a little annoying.

"Oh shoot," Karen whispers.

She jumps, trying to catch it.

"It has something, on it's feet," she says.

I smile at her.

"Fancy taking a sit on my shoulder to catch it?" I ask.

She laughs and climbs on, taking the letter. Mother takes it from her, reading it.

"You're going to Hogwarts," mother says.

"Hogwarts?" I ask.

"The castle I told you two about, Kenneth, you're going," she says.

I slowly put Karen down.

"What is the yelling about?" Kevin asks.

"I'm going to the cast-Hogwarts," I say.

Dad shakes his head.

"What is this 'Hogwarts'?" He asks.

Mom gives me the letter, seeing the word witch on the first line, I decide to not mention it.

"A special school in Scotland. May I go?" I ask.

Dad looks uncomfortable.

"What about your?" He asks.

"I'll do fine! I promise!" I say.

He finally nods and I pretty much run out to Token's.

"I'm going to a boarding school in Scotland!" I yell, running up to Token and Bebe, who are sitting on Token's houses front yard.

"Me too! That's why I came here!" Bebe yells.

Token nods.

"Me too," he states.

I just laugh, hugging both of them.