Kenny McCormick and 7 years of train rides. (South Park in Hogwarts.)

How did Christmas go?

As soon as I step foot in the train, Wendy drags me into a compartment with her, Kenny and Stan in it.

"Kyle!" Wendy says.

I sit down, putting my head into my hands.

"This just... couldn't happen," I say.

Stan starts, softly, hitting my shoulder. I'm sure there is a better word for it but I can't be bothered with it.

"Why is it the Jew that is corrupt?" Kenny asks.

Oh shit I didn't even think how racist that is. Oh for Rowena's sake! I mean it fits and if this was a book it would be the cliche twist.

"Okay, let's get everything straight," Stan says.

"Sorry dude, can't. I'm naturally not straight," Kenny says.

"Fucking gay," Stan says.

"Shut up, doesn't automatically mean I only like fucking boys. In more than one way in that sentence," Kenny says.

I shrug.

"Okay. But according to Ike-," I start.

"Is your brother trustworthy?" Wendy immediately asks.

"Guy hasn't lied about anything bigger than the normal 'did you eat the last biscuit?' He has never done something as grand as to put down Gerald," I say.

"Gerald?" Kenny asks.

"My family has one thing about it that most people don't understand. Elders are always to be called by their respectful titles. Father, mother, grandmother, grandfather and so on so forth. It's seen as childish to use mum and dad out loud, which puts down the person saying mum or dad a hell of a lot. But if you see someone as less or equal, you will call them by their name," I say.

"Wow," Stan lets out.

"Oh wait till we get into forced marriages, those are going to be awesome to talk about... said nobody ever," I say.

"In that case, we're going to go for the plan to figure out what happens to these two before they loose their memories. Although I feel as though you and I both think it's our defence against the dark arts professor," Wendy says.

"There is a certain feel to that in my mind as well," Stan says.

We all turn to him.

"Baahir mentioned, in a letter, that he told me about professor doing something to Kenny, a memory I have nowhere in my mind. According to him, I was pointing at him constantly. A thing I don't remember doing either," Stan says.

"Baahir is an angel!" Wendy lets out.

I take out my notebook.

"What's that for?" Stan asks.

"Nothing," i say dismissively.

I write down our conversation and a little note.

'Just so if he wipes their memories of anything they've thought of him (in a 'Oh he did it' way), we have the conversation to show them.'

I show it to Wendy, who smiles.

"You're an absolute genius!" Wendy says.

"I knew that," I say.

She laughs.

"How was the Christmas at Stan's?" I ask.

"Those two were cuddling every other night," Wendy says, pointing to Stan and Kenny.

"We had a reason!" Kenny says.

"It was fucking cold but she fell asleep before it got too cold so she wouldn't know," Stan says.

Kenny looks at Stan, who looks at him. After a moment of staring, they both turn to us.

"You both so are a thing!" Wendy says.

I shrug.

"Or there is something else going on," I say.

As I say it, I stare straight at Stan, whose next to me.

"You all know something I do as well but you don't know that I know so you're trying to lie," Wendy says.

Stan breaks down.

"It was worse then normally... wasn't it?" I ask.

Stan nods and hugs me.

"Hey... sh," I say.

Oh God if you make me do what I do with my brother...

"I'll protect you," I say.

Kenny, wordlessly, gets up and hugs Stan as well. Wendy sighs, gets us off the bench and hugs the last side of Stan without any huggers.

"I'm suffocating!" Stan says.

He's laughing, thank Godric.

"No really I'm fucking suffocating," Stan says.

His eyes light up.

"This is violence!" He yells.

Immediately Kenny laughs and lets go.

"Name a salad after me!" Stan says.

Kenny starts chocking on laughter. I, quickly, start hitting his back until he stops.

"I almost killed Kenny," Stan says.

I laugh.

"You bastard," I say.

Wendy is just sort of awkwardly stood by the side of us. Kyle smiles and pulls her to us.

"You know what we're going to do?" I ask.

"What?" Stan asks.

"We're going to figure out what he wants," I say.

"What he wants...? How?" Stan asks.

"I can see how," Kenny says.

We all look at him.

"But I'm not sure if we can do it if I'm alone," Kenny says.

"What's that then?" Wendy asks.

"Get him so pissed at me that he kills me. Or shoots the killing curse," Kenny says.

"What?" I ask.

"You talked about that curse? It has made me able to die and come back to life. Nobody just remembers that I died in the first place," Kenny says.

"Are you sure?" Stan asks.

"Yeah," Kenny says.

"So tell us your glorious plan," I say.

"Might take a while but we need to figure out what makes him tick," Kenny says.

"That's so much fun to do!" Wendy says.

"Really?" I ask.

Wendy nods. Suddenly, she smiles.

"I'm sorry for asking but I have a Quidditch game," she says.

"You're in the team?" I ask.

"Kyle, I'm the beater. It would go to shit without me," Wendy says.

I laugh.

"Okay. You asking us to come?" I ask.

"Yeah. Match is against Hufflepuff," Wendy says.

"Oh shit," Kenny says.

Stan shrugs.

"I still don't know why it's house versus house but fuck it," he says.

I nod.

"But more importantly, I'm asking most of you to come," Wendy says.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"You get away with not coming. You have shown less interest in Quidditch than these two. He's at the game, you can search his office," Wendy says.