Kenny McCormick and 7 years of train rides. (South Park in Hogwarts.)

House talk

"Hey! Stan!" I yell.

I wrap my arms around him.

"Hey Ky," he says back.

I smile at him.

"Let's go! With good luck, we'll be early!" I say.

Stan hugs his parents, shows his sister the middle finger and turns to me.

"So I have no idea where I'm supposed to go," he says.

I nod, grab his arm and get to the in between of nine and ten.

"Okay. Just go into this," I say.

"Are you insane?" Stan asks.

I laugh.

"Not as insane as you, now, let's go," I say.

I go on the platform. Within seconds, Stan comes behind me.

"Holy shit!" He says.

"Dude, we were just on Diagon alley like two weeks ago and this is impressive?" I ask.

We help each other get our stuff on the train. The first compartment that is at least almost empty, has a blonde with blue eyes in it.

"Can we come?" I ask.

He looks at us before nodding, completely silent.

"Um hi there, I-I'm Stan," Stan says, going in for a handshake.

The boy takes it.

"Kenny," he says.

I nod and sit down next to Stan.

"I'm Kyle, pleasure to meet you," I say.

Kenny laughs.

"Formalities. Don't you just hate them? Don't fit in any situation," he says.

I nod. Token walks in.

"Hello cousin 4 times removed!" I say.

"Hello!" He says back.

"Don't you have some wizard friends to get to?" Kenny asks.

"I-," Token starts.

"I'm not salty," he says.

Token gives him a hug before leaving out again.

"I'm pretty sure I'm related to every pure blood on this damned train," I say.

I prove it by pointing out.

"There goes Red, my cousin twice removed," I say.

I laugh at their faces. After a few minutes, Kenny starts.

"So... what house do you hope to get into?" He asks.

"Houses are the things the hat gets you, remember?" I ask Stan.

"Ooooh. Hufflepuff, I'd love to be in Hufflepuff. But I have accepted my fate, I will most likely be in Gryffindor," Stan says.

"I didn't quite understand why someone would WANT into Hufflepuff. Sorry if that comes off offensive," Kenny says.

"You have a Gryffindor bloodline. Don't you?" I ask.

"I...-," Kenny starts.

"They always put down the other houses, never understood the point. For being noble and heroic, Gryffindors who have a Gryffindor bloodline come off egoistical with 'oh only Gryffindor matters' and 'Quidditch cup is totally Gryffindor versus Slytherin'," I say.

"What's quidditch?" Both of them asks.

"Oh so you're not... sorry, I have just met so many this past few days that I thought you were one too," I say.

Stan, to fit the awkwardness, blurts out.

"Quidditch, I'd like to know about it," he says.

I, very lazily, start explaining the sport.

"Basically you are on a broom, then there are three hoops. You're either a normal player who tries to shoot a ball into one of those three hoops while protecting their hoops slightly, all while you get chased by other, much harder, balls. Then there is the keeper, that person stays by the hoops. Then Beaters, my personal favourite, try to hurt the other players. But you don't have to care about that most of the time because there is the seeker and their small as shit ball that by grabbing, that seekers team gets 150 points... I think. Anyway, only seekers really matter," I say, incredibly tired of explaining half way.

"That sounds awesome!" Kenny says.

Stan nods.

"It does! It literally seems like some kind of sport mix of basketball, football and maybe a couple of other sports," Stan says.

"Totally," Kenny says.

"What house would you wanna be in?" I ask, nodding towards Kenny.

"Gryffindor," He says.

Oh how surprising.

"You?" He asks.

"Ravenclaw, I wanna think I'm smart enough. But then again, might fit into Slytherin really well. Wouldn't wish though. The part of my family that to this day inbreeds is mostly there and I would not fancy sitting at a table when one in ten is a cousin," I say.

"Mostly?" Kenny asks.

"Lots of Gryffindors as well... wouldn't DREAM of going in with them. Not that it would be something I'd like, I wanna be special, leave an impression rather than just going along with anyone else. Plus, being in Ravenclaw doesn't automatically put you mid a rivalry," I say.

"And other houses do because?" Stan asks.

"Gryffindor hates everyone who isn't one, Slytherin is basically a more cunning version of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff is too kind for it's own good, making it pretty much the middle of any rivalry trying to solve it. But Ravenclaw just is, to put it simply. In academic success, Ravenclaw doesn't need competition, it is at the high only due to the nature of the place," I say.

"You're dragging every house but Ravenclaw," Stan points out.

"Oh Ravenclaw is the house of the bitch that never returned your pen. That's all I have to say," I say.

"Wow. You didn't need to make me actually hate the house before we even got to the school," Kenny says.

The compartment door opens.

"I-eh... I'm sorry but you didn't happen to see my cat anywhere? Jay Cat likes to leave me and -well- if my dad heard I lost her," the boy says.

"Is the cat that one?" I ask, pointing at a cat that came out of the next compartment.

"I-thank you," He says.

"No worry. Do you need help?" Stan asks, immediate to offer help to this boy.

The boy warmly smiles at Stan.

"I would love some help, if you're offering," he says.

Stan gets up and leaves the compartment.

"So," Kenny says.

"Stan's gay was showing," I say.

"It wasn't just showing, it was properly dancing in front of us," Kenny says.

I can't help a laugh that leaves me at the thought of Stan, but gayer, doing a tap dance.

"Beautiful," I say.