Metanoia

"Is Better Than This"

Arthur

Falling asleep to Merlin's heartbeat is better than this. Running a lethargic hand through his curls carelessly is better than war. Placing a soft, delicate kiss on his head goodnight is better than giving a curt nod before going into battle. A fight to the death.
Merlin's face was like stone; cold and emotionless. My eyes sought through, though. I knew what the man was hiding. My mind wasn't sure why I figured, but my heart did.
It was because I was experiencing the same emotions.
"Arthur!" Merlin shouted, the clanging of swords prominent against the cries of battle. "A hand, please?" Quickly darting over to him, I brought down my weapon, unsheathing the man, Merlin finishing him off with a blunt hit to the head.
"You'll be a tough match for King Keres," I spoke, watching breathlessly as the unconscious man tumbled to the ground. My eyes grazed over the figure. A pawn in a game of chess.
Merlin huffed. "Nevertheless, people are dying." Swallowing, he then turned, marching away, leaving me in the dust.
"Merlin!"
"Stop trying to compensate and put that sword to use!"
Rolling my eyes, I strode over to him, occasionally being blocked by various attackers. "Merlin, there's so much blood." I knocked out another man, adding him to the list of victims under my belt. My heart took a chance, eyeing up to see Merlin spar with a victorious stance, sending the man's weapon flying to the ground, soon towering over him to give a blow, as the enemy then fell, unconscious to everyone's eyes. Blinking rapidly, I tried to steer my orbs away from Merlin, watching as he fought with such ease and precision.
He was amazing.
And nothing at all like the old Merlin I once knew. But maybe that was alright. Maybe change is okay.
"Arthur!"
Facing reality, I watched with a silent gaze as the man I fell in love with stabbed a follower behind me, a fatal gash making an appearance in the foreigner's gut. Whipping my head, my stare changed angles, consecutively glancing back and forth between Merlin and the fallen. The passed attacker looked happy—peaceful. My eyes trailed to Merlin's. He was nothing like the man. Enraged—distant.
"What the hell are you doing?" Merlin's voice came out in complete anger. "Standing there not giving a care in the world as people die around you?"
"Merlin-"
"We are at war, Arthur."
I had never seen Merlin with such hatred in his eyes. It was like the happiness that once layed in his heart perished. Replaced with a cold and calculating stare. I shivered, swallowing down nostalgia. He had reminded me of my father. With glossy eyes, I saw Merlin scream out in frustration and agony, occasionally swiping at an oncomer in the midst of the war. 
"I just killed a man, Arthur! Everywhere I try to resolve a problem I just end up multiplying them!" He clashed his weapon against an enemy soldier. "This isn't a charmed life! I had a good reason to take that potion!"
He did. We made a promise—an oath—that we would get out of that room alive. We had dreamed the night before of a life without politics and war. A place where we were free.
And I failed him.
I had lied to Merlin.
"Merlin, no need to be so rash at a time like this!" I collided into the man he was sparring, knocking him out with my hilt. Then, holding out a gloved hand, my eyes met his, gazing at him. I could see every freckle that sprinkled onto his face lightly. The deranged hair messily flying about his face, various other strands clamped to his forehead by a sheen coat of sweat. My heart crept into my throat, drinking in the sight. He was absolutely spectacular.
"Arthur-"
"We stop fighting and work together." I stuck my hand out further to him. "We go find King Keres and defeat him. Together."
Merlin licked his lips subconsciously, eyeing my hand. A soft sigh tumbled from his mouth. "Together," he agreed, grasping onto my hand.
Holding Merlin's hand with a smile on our faces is better than the cries of war with a somber expression present in our features.
Kissing Merlin where nothing else in the world could faze us was better than everything.
Everything.
My mouth suddenly crashed into his. It was desperate—needy, infact, but it was tasteful. I couldn't remember a time where I drew away from Merlin's lips first. To breathe air? To give a compliment? I had always thought those who kissed needed no words. The affection was displayed right there, open to the other's eyes.
I guess I was wrong.
"You told me you loved me first last time," Merlin breathed, stepping away. My brows laced in confusion. Why was he pulling away? Merlin's eyes darted. "Now I will return the favor."
With a smile of awe, Merlin gazed behind me, thrusting his sword out to meet a foreigner's, as the two battled over victory.
"Merlin!" I yelled, parrying a deflected blow from the enemy's weapon as I drew in closer, finding a way to intervene. Before I could do so, though, the body dropped to the ground, eyes clamped shut with sleep.
"Don't sweat it," Merlin bantered, spinning to face me, wiping beads of perspiration from my forehead.
"What if you were gone?"
His mind ticked for a short moment before he answered. "Then you'd have to find a way to get me back."
I smiled, gazing down at the attacker. "Is this your gift?"
Merlin bit his lip, eyes grazing over the battlefield. Crimson was shading over every other hue present in our fields of vision. "No," Merlin croaked, suddenly queasy from the sight. His hand met mine again. "Your gift is King Keres."

A/N: yeS THIS IS SHORT, but there is another part following this small sequence. So I will update that very soon! If y'all have enjoyed this book so far, please feel free to leave a vote or comment! It makes my day. Thanks! Bye!