Metanoia

"I Forgive You"

Merlin

Finding him wasn't hard. Infact, with the trail of blood leading to a specific, makeshift tent, it was relatively easy considering the sudden curse that escaped from said location. "Arthur," I whispered, keeping my eyes set on the flaps of the building. "Arthur, I-"
I suddenly felt my face be forced to his, as my lips smashed into his with want. It was sweet and simple, as Arthur guided my chin closer to him, dragging his mouth over mine with keen desperation.
But it was too quick.
When my lips were begging for more, he then leaned away, heaving several breaths before speaking.
"You know..." he breathed with a gentle smile. "For good luck."
Twitching a grin, my expression turned woeful, gazing at Arthur with a newfound intensity. I didn't know it was possible to know the exact moment he would give me one last smile. One final glance with upturned lips. My eyes watered.
One of us was going to leave.
I just hoped it wasn't going to be the same pattern as last time.

______________

"King Keres."
The foreign royal turned, seeing both Arthur and me, as he hurriedly wiped the blood from his hands onto his trousers, before giving a malicious grin. "Well, if it isn't King Merlin and The Fallen Prince."
Arthur's brows laced in anger beside me. "Give in now and no more harm will be done."
The royal just gave a dark chuckle in reply. "Is this what you believe is going to cease the war?" Keres then smirked. "You think this is what anyone with power would've wanted?" He paused. "A democracy? Is your mind addled? Why would you of all people choose to resign from your position?" With raised brows, realization then suddenly hit him, as he softly tsked me, taking a step forward, hand still tightly clamped onto his sword. "But it's not really about your people, now is it?" A victorious expression made an appearance on his face when seeing my eyes twitch. "You're terrible for thinking so selfishly." Keres's orbs trailed to Arthur. "To run away with a man because the eyes of the public couldn't see sense of it?"
"It's not his fault he craves happiness," Arthur countered, glaring at the rotten king in front of us. My breath then left me. Arthur was right. Felicity is all I had ever wanted.
"It's beautiful," I said breathlessly. My legs traveled to sit down next to Arthur, as we gazed at the moon with smiles plastered onto our faces.
"They call it a harvest moon," Arthur exclaimed.
"They?" I questioned softly in response.
"Foreigners. People outside of Albion." In my peripheral vision, Arthur's stare traveled to the ground. "They don't have castles—politics. They're free."
My gaze softened, as my eyes traveled to Arthur's. "Do you think we'll be free someday?"
A smile grazed Arthur's face, as trained his face to see mine. "I'd like to hope so."
Could the Gods give me a breath of fresh air for once?
Licking my lips, I stared him in the eye, fully intending to give him some sense hopefully he would soon ease into. "I'm not like you, Keres," I remarked. "I just want peace, not power."
With a cautious glance to me, Arthur then faced the royal once again. "We could compromise."
The man scoffed in reply. "You think some money and land is going to erase my opinion?"
"No," I spoke, aiming my sword to the ground. "But a lot of lives will be saved by taking this course of action."
After a pause of complete and utter silence, my mind had begun to switch gears. Was King Keres reconsidering?
"You if all people should despise the man beside you," the foreigner suddenly growled to me, his eyes currently trained on Arthur. "He took everything away from you."
"I am not my father!" Arthur shouted, raising his sword.
"Arthur!" I yelled, trying to calm his nerves. "Stop! Lower the sword!"
He just huffed a defiant breath and readied his weapon. "No, Merlin. There's no use to even attempt. This man is beyond repair."
Maybe the king was, but that didn't stop him from commencing an element of surprise. I didn't even see the other man coming. Like lightning, thunder grumbled with a streak of hot, white light from the sky, piercing the ground with choler. And it angered me beyond my senses.
Alvah.
My voice was raspy and frayed at the ends, but that didn't stop me from screaming. "Arthur!" It was terrible and fully broken. It was remorse. It was anguish.
It was guilt.
This was my fault to blame. I had caused this. Again. King Keres was right. I am utterly selfish.
"There is a price you must pay for the one you love, King Merlin," came the royal's voice. "There are choices, but are you willing to accept the risks?"
At first confusion is all that crossed my features, but then after a moment, everything came to realization. My eyes took a glance to Alvah, a former court member of mine, who was slowly advancing in a nonchalant manner. "I would never," I stifled, meeting King Keres's eyes with disgust. "I'm not like you."
Alvah smirked. "We shall see."
"No," I retorted. "I will see." Without hesitation, my sword came to face the King's abdomen.
So many tears.
So much bloodshed.
All in the name of happiness.
Unsheathing the bloodied weapon from the royal's body, I then faced the man who had hurt my beloved. "You did this," I growled. "Just so you could be acclaimed of his death and achieve power?"
Alvah licked his lips, gazing at the stained sword at my sword. He was expecting his death. "No, Merlin," he mumbled, raising his orbs to meet mine. "If you are smart enough, you know fully well that with or without Keres's aid, I was destined to die in this war." He paused, gazing to Arthur. "I am just another pawn in this game of chess."
Trying to rid tears in my eyes, I rapidly blinked, straining to meet his gaze. "You had a choice, Alvah."
A smile with an undetected emotion danced across his lips. "I have seen many things, Merlin; and I must say, of all the things in the world I should stumble on, you are the one." I laced my brows in confusion. The grin then washed away from the elder's features. "You surprise me, King Merlin."
I didn't even process the next moment, as Alvah then dashed away from my sight, running back out to the battlefield, cutting through the army to greet the forest and beyond.
"You're a coward, Alvah!" I screamed to the now still air, still slightly dazed on what had just went down. "A coward for not facing death like a loyal!" But maybe that was why he had ditched. Alvah was anything but loyal.
"Merlin," Arthur's voice came, tripping me between multiple emotions.
"Arthur," I mumbled with shock, the broken feeling seeping through my tone above all others. I strode over, dropping to my knees upon seeing his current state. The Gods had done this. They didn't want me to have felicity. "No, please!" I cried, gazing as his eyes took a moment to rest. "Arthur, you prat. Not again!" Sniffing back snot, I gazed at the gash. It was fatal, no doubt; red from disruption, red from the blood...
Red.
Red was the prominent color that spoke to my eyes.
"Arthur," I tearily laughed, grabbing his hand tightly, rubbing a soothing thumb over the now pale skin. It didn't take a genius to tell that I was delirious. Or mentally insane. "It's not even that bad. You're going to be fine."
Arthur heaved a breath before speaking. "You're a terrible liar, Merlin."
Pursing my lips, I wiped a fallen glint of light from his cheek. "Good thing you're keeping me in check, then, yeah?"
Even with the agony, Arthur managed to crack a smile. An utterly breathtaking, beautiful smile. Earlier my mind had thought that Arthur's last smile would be before this battle.
I was wrong.
This would be the last time.
"Merlin," Arthur mumbled, dragging a lethargic finger to my face. I gazed crestfallen as the man I loved traced my contours. The finger eventually rested on my lips, feeling the soft skin underneath. "I want to tell you something."
"Arthur," I croaked, staccato breaths blowing from my lips. He shivered upon feeling the warm breath. "Arthur, I messed up. You came back only to die again. I chose to forget you. I'm a terrible, terrible-"
"Merlin," Arthur suspired, letting the raised finger draw to my locks, as he began weakly playing with a curl. His eyes then met mine, and that's when I saw it. Love and compassion I had never seen from anyone else ever before. Complete empathy, benevolence, and ardor.
Something ineffable.
Something heartbreaking.
"I forgive you."
And it was like everything had then clicked. Like a candle roaring to life with the heat of memories and remembrance. Like a wave crashing against the shore with a newfound expression. Like a man remembering the forgotten memories of another.
"Arthur!" I yelled out with a pained crack. Limping over to the next room, I felt my bloody arms weakly push against the door, the weight too heavy for me at the moment. My body leaned against the door, my eyes rolling up. I tried to maintain composure, as I closed my eyes, then pushed the doors open with an inflicted grunt. Falling into the room, my eyes instantly settled on the resting figure on the ground.
He looked so peaceful.
That was before I took notice to the blood, though. My eyebrows scrunched, as I limped over to Arthur, eyelids now undeniably weighted. "No no no..." I gasped, dropping to my knees, tears beginning to threaten my eyes upon taking in the sight. My hands gently touched his cheek, feeling the sudden cold hit me, my fingers twitching. I then proceeded to cup his cheek, raking my other hand through his hair.
"Arthur; you promised you wouldn't leave me," I croaked, feeling tears stream down my face. Closing my eyes, I tasted the salt, breathing out a broken sob.
To have a blank slate—a fresh start, Arthur's voice had said. My fingers delicately fondled with his shirt, face now red and smeared with tears and snot.
I soon felt my eyes begin to droop from exhaustion and pain. Sniffing, I layed my head on his chest, my hands grasping onto his lifeless ones, looking to gaze at the floor. The blood was prominent—the crimson a major contrast against the pale stone. I squinted my eyes. Something about the trails seemed off. Some smears were curved—splotches leading into wisps of blood, then suddenly cutting off, as another path with a different course took place. Confused, I leaned my head to the side a little—away from Arthur's chest—as I was now sitting, staring at the trail closest to him. My face instantly paled.
It was a message.
I could see it clearly, but I still needed to stand in order to process the sentence entirely. My blood pumped wildly, my body trembling, eyes showing white; before I fell to the ground, meeting unconsciousness.
'I forgive you.'
He had forgiven me, but with a cost. The question was: am I willing to repay that offer?

A/N: Hello everyone! Yes, this chapter is mORBID AND—aGh—DOWNRIGHT PAINFUL, but I promise this is not the end! If you all are enjoying the story so far, please leave a vote or comment! It would be amazing! Thanks! Bye!