Fuck Life

Chapter 15: Fucking Pathetic

Gavin woke up to someone patting his head. As he opened his eyes he saw Conan smiling down at him weakly.

Conan was in a hospital bed with blue blood tube connected to his wrist through a needle. Gavin was sitting beside him in a chair.

"Are you alright Detective?"

"Am I alright? You're the one who got stabbed in the stomach!"

"I am well. That is why I asked if you were."

"I'm fine." Gavin says as he let out a sigh.

"You know... I heard that the DPD was impressed that you were able to beat up five people that were armed."

"Firstly, I did not 'beat up' anyone. I protected myself which might have included some violence but only that were necessary."

"Yeah, sure." Gavin mumbled.

"Secondly, they were not armed her say if you meant it as non-literally. All they had were some guns and a knife."

"AlL thEy haD WeRe SOme gUNs anD a kNifE." Gavin mimicked.

Conan laughed.

Gavin just smiled as he gazed at Conan but then realized what he was doing and quickly looked away as his face started heating.

As came the silence, Gavin started to feel guilt.

"I'm sorry."

Conan looked at him shocked.

"Pardon?"

"I'm fucking sorry."

"For what are you apologizing for?"

"For not telling you I went with Hank, for not thinking about you first before I left with Hank, for not coming fast enough, for not treating you well, for not..."

Gavin started to choke up.

"I'm just so fucking sorry for everything."

Gavin was already crying at this point. He refused to look at Conan. He was being pathetic. He wasn't even a good person to deal with, here he is apologizing and now he's getting Conan's sheets wet with his tears.

Fucking pathetic.

"Detective Reed-"

Conan was interrupted by Gavin's phone that decided to buzz at this moment. Gavin took out his phone to see who was calling but froze. The blood in Gavin's face drained. Both hand and feet felt cold.

Elijah Kamski.

Gavin hadn't deleted his number even after their meeting. He despised Kamski but he was the only family he knew of. I kept the number in hopes that maybe Kamski would call back to talk again because dammit Gavin was desperate for any hopes of comfort he could get. It was a pathetic thing to do but hey so was Gavin. He eventually forgot about the number since he rarely called anyone. And now, here is Kamski, calling Gavin for some unknowable reason.

Gavin declined the call.

"Detective Reed? Are you alright?"

"Fucking peachy." Gavin spat out.

Conan frowned. Fuck he lashed out again.

"Detective, who was that?"

"Nobody."

"It didn't seem like nobody."

Gavin didn't answer. They stayed in silence for a few minutes until Gavin decided to finally answered.

"It was Kamski."

"Elijah Kamski?"

"Yeah."

"I always thought you two looked alike."

"Yeah that's because we're twins. Biologically."

Conan made an "o" face.

"Why did you not answer his call?"

"I... I'm not really..."

"If you do not feel comfortable talking about it, then do not force yourself Detective."

"Thanks."

"Although I'd be very happy if you told me." Conan said with a smile on his face.

Gavin laughed.

"Fucking hell Conan! Fine! But I'll tell you later."

"When is 'later'?"

"Be fucking patient. I'll tell you when I'm ready."

"Ok Detective."

"Just call me Gavin."

"Alright, Gavin."

Something about the way Conan said his name made Gavin feel... uncomfortable. Ok maybe letting Conan call him by his name wasn't such a good idea.

"Thank you."

Gavin swung his head to stare at Conan. Confused of what he just heard.

"What?"

"Thank you."

"No I heard that. Why?"

"Well from the looks of it and from the information told by Connor, you had stayed with me the whole time after you found me and as told by Connor, 'absolutely refused to let go of your hand, stuck to you like glue, and would not stop bothering the workers in the hospital by asking them if you were alright or yelling "Don't you dare fucking hurt him I swear if you do I will break all ten of your fingers' right in their face."

Conan even had a recording of what he said in the hospital and he seemed very smug about it especially when Gavin's face turned completely red.

"I hate you."

"I don't think so. After you threatened a doctor for my protection I hardly doubt that you hate me."

Gavin let out a loud groan and sat back on his chair while Conan snickered.

"You shouldn't be too hard on yourself Gavin. Everyone makes mistakes. Although I would appreciate it if you warned me next time before you go running off alone without telling me."

"Yeah, yeah. You know, next time you should contact me first before going looking for me. From now on I'll pick you up when we go for lunch."

"Sounds good to me."

Conan smiled brightly at Gavin.

Gavin blushed and looked away again.

Fucking pathetic.