Fuck Life

Chapter 11: Dammit

Conan has become part of Gavin's daily routine after that. Gavin would go out for lunch, Conan would follow, and then they chat. Conan liked to ask Gavin about humans, of what it's like to eat, drink, digest, and... Gavin usually stops Conan when things get a bit too unusual or disgusting to talk about.

Gavin only occasionally asks questions. He mostly likes to listen to Conan. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Conan, he just felt awkward when talking with Conan staring at him. Conan had this face whenever he was listening to Gavin. Calm, concentrated, and gentile. Gavin always had to look away from Conan whenever he talked because the second he looks at Conan, he can feel his face starting to heat up.

Gavin wasn't sure why or how he was feeling this. Just a few days ago he despised androids but after the talk and by seeing the way Conan behaves, he was starting to doubt that androids were just heartless being. He still blames them for the increase in the unemployment rate but he started to think that maybe it wasn't their fault.

Ok, so him being able to tolerate Conan was understandable but actually having romantic feelings for Conan? That's what conflicted Gavin.

Gavin has prevented himself from being close to anyone for years after meeting Kamski. He thought that closing himself from people will make him stronger and maybe it's true. But over time, he started to get more stressed, lash out more, and sometimes even breakdown and cry (when no one is around of course). He tried to blame it on androids of why he felt lonely but he knew that in truth, he was the reason why he was like this.

So having the want for a relationship was understandable. But having a relationship like that with Conan?

Conan was nice to him (except for that time where he pinned Gavin down to his desk but Gavin kind of started that so he lets that slide). He actively reached out to Gavin even if Gavin treated him like shit.

Gavin knew that Conan only did that because they were work buddies and just wanted to get along so he wouldn't have to deal with Gavin's shit attitude.

Conan probably just saw him as a coworker and nothing more.

But the way Conan looked at him...

Fuck. He had to go talk to someone about this. Someone who knows androids well enough to tell him if he was reading false signs.

He had to go talk to Hank. Dammit.