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Chapter 25: The others in Goshem! part 7

Malcolm folded his legs and looked at his guests. The story he was about to tell them was one he really felt strongly about. Though he had made peace with his past, revisiting it with them was surely going to evoke his demons.

"So in my past life I was involved in the film industry and I wore many hats. I first started as a prop builder, went on to become a prop master, learned a few things from a cousin of mine who was an armourer and then moved on to other things like being a lighting technician and then transitioned to camera work. Making films was quite a tough ordeal and you would deal with pre production hurdles; studio interference when the director's vision didn't meet the stipulation of test screenings and also in house politics. You could say that the reason why I killed myself was because the same system that I believed in, despite having its faults, made me feel guilty about what happened to my co-worker's niece." he said with a gloomy look.

"So what happened to this girl, I mean your friend's niece?" asked John.

"Well, for the most part I had been mainly working on the technical side of things, a behind the scenes guy who works with talent. During one of our rigging sessions, me and my buddies overheard the guys up top scheduling an audition for young female actors and I remembered that one of my co-workers couldn't shut up about his niece being the next Meryl Streep or something so I gave him a call and got in touch with her. Well I think I just wanted to help out a young person who probably didn't have much in terms of industry connections. I didn't think much of it, but she ended up getting the part. Because of what happened she decided to become friends with me, grateful for the opportunity that I had given her by making the audition known to her. The thing is, I should have given her at least a mental preparation of the drawbacks that would come with the business. See, when you are an unknown, fresh off the block, you tend to deal with hierarchical hazing and stuff, as you build your network and establish yourself in the industry. Us the older generation of millenials accepted that this was just how things were and that you'd have to gain the system and hope you make it just high enough that you wouldn't have to deal with entry level job bullshit. So that could work for a thick skinned male trying to get to the top, but for a young girl like Madeline, that wasn't going to be the case. There was this one production assistant notorious for fooling around with female actresses, especially those still coming into their own. That jerk had the bureaucratic protection of some community of directors and producers which always helped cover his tracks. Madeline was coerced with options of being cut off her minor roles in films or even major ones for the sake of having sex with that bastard. Madeline had become my friend but she wasn't really family and I was like, 'take advantage of this, I know it hurts now, but you can forget that guy when you're big', but she didn't like how I did things. I came from a background in which industry vices were part of the job. You would either shape up and deal with it until you got another opportunity that would move you up in the industry. Madeline thought it was wrong for things to be this way, but ratting out to the press wouldn't really help. I mean, the people who hold the doors for you to even get ahead in the industry are the ones you are snitching. Besides it would be your word against theirs and a small time actress from michigan with industry clout would be buried by her lack of sway. Madeline eventually quit acting after starring in a relatively successful indie film called 'Thy love you have lost'. She was set to become a trail blazer but she wasn't willing to kiss someone's as or bed specific man with the final say to get her way. When I tried to communicate with her to find out how I could help, she pretty much distanced herself from me and hated me. I thought that she had given up to quickly, but since I am no woman, having to have sex to get ahead wasn't something that I considered to be too crazy of an idea. There were other actresses who gained the system and even rose to a higher level than their oppressors, but Madeline wasn't like those girls. So, 2 years passed and I had made my first feature film which managed to convince investors to fund it. This would be my first international debut as a filmmaker, my big break at the age of 38. I weathered the storm, got my clout, had the favour of various technical staff and I was going to make my film. During the casting auditions for my film, Madeline had returned. She looked way more beautiful than before, as if her time out of this business had rejuvenated her from the last time I had seen her. She delivered her lines perfectly and despite how things had dissolved between us, I tried by all means to patch things up with her. We rekindled our friendship and I enjoyed making the film with her, but things didn't go so well." he said, in his uninterrupted monologue.