and in the end, I'd do it all again [Moxiety]

Chapter 24 ~ Wishful Thinking

Before I know it a week has passed.  I can't tell anymore, the days seem to fade together.  I haven't left the couch for a week.  I wake up, binge watch something to distract myself, cry for a bit, and fall asleep on the couch.  I've eaten very little, I only get up to use the bathroom, and I haven't been outside since Patton left.  I lay on the couch with the curtains drawn when I hear a knock at the door.  I ignore it at first, hoping they'll think I'm not in. Then I realise it could be Patton, my heart jumps and I quickly stand up, yelling, "Who is it?"
"It's Logan, Virge, can I come in?"  Oh. So it's not Patton.  That was very wishful thinking.  But it's Logan.
"I don't know if I want to see anyone" I call out.  It's the truth.
"Please, Virgil?  I'm worried about you."  He sounds so sad and sincere, so I make my way to the door and open it.  "Virge.. Oh my god"  He says, slowly looking me up and down.  "You do not look good, buddy"  He then pulls me into a hug.  I sigh and fall into it.  Even though it isn't Patton, it still feels good to be held.
"Come in"  I say blankly after pulling away.  He nods and we make our way inside.  Logan sits down on the couch awkwardly.  Looking around the room.  The pile of plates on the floor that I couldn't be bothered to take back to the kitchen after making toast, the messed up blankets on the couch, the DVD box sets scattered across the floor.  He tuts at the the closed curtains and gets up to open them for me as I sit down.  The sunlight hurts my eyes for a second.  It's been a while.
"Virgil...what happened"  I look at the floor.  "I haven't seen you in a week.  You haven't left the house in a week"  He says, he looks me up and down again.  "Virge, you look awful.  You're all skinny, and you look exhausted and sadder than ever"  He looks so sympathetic.  I appreciate that.  He's a good friend.
"Me and Patton- we uh"  I feel the lump in my throat.  "We broke up"  I say, looking back to the floor.
"Ah no!"  Logan says.  "What happened?  It was going so well!"  He looks shocked.
"Roman.. he... "  I say, I don't know if I can say it again.
"I'm gonna kill him." Logan says, suddenly angry.
"What?"
He sighs.  "Roman told me that he likes you.  He said it was killing him to see you with Patton.  What did he do?"  He says quickly, shaking his head at the ground.
"He kissed me"  I say.  Logan looks up at me, angrily.
"Oh my god, Virgil, I'm so sorry.  So, you told Patton... and what did he say?"
"He said that because I didn't tell him immediately, it means he can't trust me"  I say, choking on my words a few times, trying my best not to get upset again.  "I love him.  More than anything, Logan"  I continue.  "But he's right, I should've told him.  Fixed it there and then.  I guess- I guess he thought that because I felt guilt, that it meant something to me"  It's becoming clearer to me now.  I didn't think it was possible, but maybe Patton has been just as scared of losing me as I have been of him.  Logan nods slowly. 
"I'm so, so sorry, Virge.  But look.." He starts.  "Patton was probably being very defensive, the thought of you leaving him was too much, so he left you.  I'm telling you, he'll wake up one of these days and realise that maybe he overreacted, and that he loves you"  I sniff loudly, listening to Logan's comforting words.  "It's just a first fight Virge, it's a milestone!"  He says.
"I kissed another guy, Lo"
"No... another guy kissed you... Patton knows the difference, he just needs a little while to realise that he has no reason not to trust you"   He says quietly.  I don't say anything, and we sit in silence for a few minutes.  "...would you like me to talk to Roman?"  He says.  I don't know.  Maybe.  I shrug.
"Ok... just, be careful, I don't wanna lose Patton, but I don't wanna lose Roman either"  I say.  Thank god I forgive easily.
Logan nods, "I'm gonna go, I'll be back soon, maybe tomorrow?  I'm gonna make sure you're ok, Virge, remember what I said... he'll come around"  I nod, biting my lip.  He lets himself out.  I lie back down, putting another show on.  Same as yesterday, the day before, and the rest of this last week, but now I have slightly more hope.

Hope you enjoyed today's chapter!  Make sure to vote and comment and follow me, I'll be following back a few tonight❤️. I'll see you tomorrow!