and in the end, I'd do it all again [Moxiety]

Chapter 4 ~ Breaking The Daydream

After spending half an hour looking for Patton's phone and eventually finding it in the popcorn bowl.  Patton offers to drive me home.  It's not far, I walked here last night, but I take up the offer anyway. 
"Thanks again, Logan"  I say, waving back at him in the doorway before I climb into the passenger seat of Patton's car.  We start driving in silence, and then he asks,
"Are you alright, Virgil?"  I'm taken aback by the question.  All I wanna do is tell him to stop driving and then tell him the no I'm not and then tell him everything.  But he's the only one I can't tell.
"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"  He's seen me panic before, this isn't a new thing, and he know I'm always fine afterward.
"I don't know, you just seem off at the moment, and that panic attack, well, I know it happens, Virge, and I know you're always fine after," He sounds slightly scared, so I interrupt him.
"Patton, I'm fine, I promise"  We stop at some traffic lights and turns to face me, I can see worried tears in his eye.  He looks beautiful in the late morning light, the sun reflecting in his watery eyes.  My guts twist.  He's the only person I've ever met that can do that to me.  That can make my body actually respond to what I'm feeling, almost like a panic attack.  Well, he's definitely the best panic attack I've ever had.
"Are you sure?  I worry about you, Virgil"  A tear slips from his eye and down his cheek.  I choose to make a bold move and slowly reach out to him and wipe off the tear with my thumb.
"Look at me, Patton"  He looks me in the eye.  "Everything's fine"  I lie again.
Suddenly there's a blaring noise from behind us. 
"Oh crap, sorry!  Sorry" Patton says, quickly turning back to the steering wheel and pulling away from the traffic lights quickly.  We drive the rest of the way back to mine in silence.

When we get to my house I get out of the car and walk around to his side leaning into the open window.
"You uh, wanna catch a movie later?" I ask him.
"Yeah!  Sure"  His face lights up.  "I'll come by and get you later"
I nod and mouth an 'ok' with a smile before walking towards the house, turning just to see him turn the corner at the end of my street.

I sit inside googling cinema times.  Not a horror film, we watched one last night, though it would be nice to feel his hand in mine again.  No, I shake the thought away before I get too distracted.  There's a romance movie on, but I'm not gonna suggest it, no, that'd be too obvious.  I watch the trailer for it though.
"You don't know how I feel, this is tearing me apart!"  The woman yells at the man in the rain.
"I know, believe me I know, I feel the same" the man tells her.  She looks at him in confusion.  He walks to her and takes her face in his hands before pressing their lips together.  The camera pans out, and instead of seeing the actors, I see myself, I see me and Patton, kissing in the rain.  The trailer ends, and I slam shut the laptop lid.  Cutting off my fantasy.  Breaking my little daydream.  I put my face in my hands and breathe.  Looks like a good movie.