Voltron Shitpost Oneshots

Sex Ed

Lance was in desperate need of clean clothes. In fact, he was in such dire need of clean clothes that he was rewearing dirty clothes for almost a week. Lance took his dirty clothes and hauled them to the castle laundry room.

As Lance loaded the washing machine he noticed that the dryer was filled with somone else's clothes, so he decided to be nice and deliver them to the friend they belonged to. He opened the dryer and immediately saw a red jacket. These clothes were Keith's.

"Of course! Out of all the paladins, they just happen to belong to Keith," Lance muttered to himself unhappily.

Lance grabbed an empty laundry basket and began to rid the dryer of Keith's clothes. As he got closer to the bottom he noticed an item that seemed unusual, so out of curiosity he grabbed it out to take a closer look. What he held in his hand was a black sports bra.

"This is probably Pidge's," Lance said to himself. Lance decided to ask Pidge if she was missing it, so he walked to the green paladin's room to deliver the undergarment.

Lance knocked on the door to the room to make sure it was okay to come in.

"Yes?" A small voice said.

"Hey, it's Lance, I have something of yours," Lance answered.

"Okay come in," Pidge responded.

"Thanks," Lance opened the door and set the bra on her dresser.

"Woah woah woah!" Pidge shouted while waving her arms. "That's too small to be mine!"

"Yeah right," Lance said in disbelief.

"That's at least an A32. I'm a B36," Pidge stated.

"Then whose is it?" Lance asked.

"I don't know, where did you get it?" Pidge asked.

"It was in a load of Keith's laundry," Lance replied.

"Then maybe it's Keith's," Pidge said, "because like I said, it's not mine."

Lance's stomach felt sick. Why would Keith have a sports bra? And why did he have to be the one to confront him about it?

"Okay," Was all Lance could muster before he grabbed the bra and closed the door behind him. He stuffed the item in with the rest of the clothes in the basket.

As Lance walked through the castle to Keith's room, many thought's travelled through his mind.

Was Keith a pervert?

Was it his girlfriend's or something?

Has he had it the whole time?

How did Keith know what a bra was? He was so clueless about everything else when it came to girls!

Now Lance was mad, but it wasn't because Keith had a bra, it was because nobody was around him long enough to teach him anything about this stuff. Lance stormed in Keith's room and let out a roar that would make all five lions cower.

"KEITH KOGANE! WHAT IS THIS?" Lance pulled the bra out of the basket. Keith was so startled by Lance he accidentally dropped his bayard.

"What the heck Lance!" Keith shouted, but remembered to answer the question. "What do you mean? It's a chest protector."

Lance stood there for a second. He dropped the basket on accident and stood in the doorway completely dumbfounded.

"Okay, no," Lance rushed over to his fellow paladin and pulled him by the wrist and took him to the lounge area of the castle. In the lounge area, Shiro was peacefully reading what appeared to be a book about space.