Voltron Shitpost Oneshots

Happy Easter!

Hey guys! Mercedes here. It's been a loooong time since the last upload, but I think we're gonna try and get back in the swing of things. Or maybe we won't! Who knows. Anyway, happy Easter!

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Pidge was never a fan of Easter. Easter egg hunts seemed like a waste of time, and the prizes were always lame. Not to mention the Easter Bunny. It's an entity that's just as fake as the tooth fairy or Santa, but it's the scariest thing Pidge had ever witnessed. 

Unfortunately for Pidge, the paladins decided to celebrate Easter on the ship. Hunk was cooking already and Shiro was setting up decorations. Lance was talking with Allura and Coran, teaching them about Easter and the festivities. Keith was walking around with Kosmo. In Kosmo's mouth was a basket of plastic eggs. Occasionally Keith would take one out and hide it discreetly.

Pidge was the only one not doing anything. Shiro walked over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, Pidge, do you want to help me put some of these up?" He handed her a handful of egg shaped stickers. Grumbling, she took them and began to put them along the walls. She put on her headphones and began blasting some music to drown out the sound of Lance talking. 

Lance moved on from the background of Easter to current traditions. He explained that children believed that a bunny would deliver baskets of candy. "And sometimes parents take their kids to go see the bunny in malls. But it's really just some guy in a sweaty bunny costume. I think I have a picture of me with him somewhere..." 

"A bunny?" Allura asked. Lance nodded. 

"Yup! Kids love it."

As if right on cue, Shiro walked in wearing a bunny costume. He had the head tucked under his arm and gave a wave. "Today, I'm our Easter Bunny!" 

Keith shook his head after placing the last egg in a spot. "You're so childish, Shiro." 

"Says the one who demanded we have an egg hunt." Lance snickered. Keith shot him a glare.

"Shut up, Lance! You wanted to paint eggs!" 

"D-Did not!" 

"Boys!" Shiro intervened. "Calm down. We can all enjoy Easter without bickering like children." 

Lance and Keith grumbled out apologies, but refused to look at each other. Hunk walked out from the kitchen. "Hey guys! Lunch is ready!" 

Lance, Keith, Coran, and Allura all followed Hunk into the dining area. Shiro was about to follow when he realized Pidge was still placing stickers with her headphones on. To free his hands, he slipped the bunny head on and placed his stack of stickers on the nearest ledge. He gave Pidge a gentle tap on the shoulder. "Hey, lunch is ready-"

Pidge turned to face who had tapped her. Immediately she dropped all of the stickers in her hands and screamed. "GET AWAY FROM ME!" She yelled. She made a beeline for her room. Shiro stood in shock. 

"What was that? Where's Pidge?" Lance asked as he walked back from the dining area. "And shouldn't you take that off to eat?"

"She... She screamed. And ran away." 

Lance tilted his head in confusion. "But why?" 

Shiro took of the bunny head. "I don't know. I'll go ask her." 

"I'm coming too!" Lance declared. Shiro didn't say anything as he made his way to Pidge's room. 

Pidge was under a pile of blankets, shaking. She kept telling herself that what she saw wasn't real. It couldn't have been real. She fell asleep here in her bed, and had a nightmare that the entire crew was setting up things for Easter. The bunny she saw couldn't hurt her since it wasn't real, right? 

There was a soft knock on the door. "Hey, Pidge, are you okay?" 

Nope. It definitely wasn't a dream. It was all real. There were plastic eggs filled with who knows what scattered around the living room. Hunk was cooking a delicious Easter meal, and she had been recruited to hang stickers on the walls. That meant that the bunny was real too. Carefully, Pidge stood. She recognized the voice as Shiro's. She must've scared him with that scream. 

When she opened the door, she almost screamed again. "Shiro, what are you wearing!?" 

He blinked. "Uh, a bunny costume?" 

"Why!?" 

"Because it's Easter...?" 

Lance moved in front of Shiro. "Are you scared of the Easter Bunny?"

"What?" Pidge's face turned red from embarrassment. "No! Why would I be? That sounds like something Keith would be afraid of. Not me." 

"Oh really?" Lance said, leaning forward menacingly. "Then why did you scream and run away from Shiro earlier?"

"Fine! Okay! I'm afraid of the Easter Bunny! Is that so bad?"

Lance rubbed his hands together. "Oh, this is going to be fun."

"Don't you dare-"

"Hey Keith!" Lance shouted. "Pidge is af-"

Pidge ran forward and shoved her hand over Lance's mouth. "Not. Another. Word." She hissed. Lance yelled out more muffled words, half of them Pidge figured were not very friendly. Shiro grabbed Lance's shoulder, and whispered something in his ear. Immediately, Lance's body went still and he stopped talking. Slowly, Pidge removed her hand. Without another word, Lance left. 

"Sorry about him." Shiro said. "But... are you really that afraid of the Easter Bunny?"

"It's a long story," Pidge explained, "but yeah. It freaks me out. What did you say to Lance to get him to shut up?"

Shiro smirked. "Ah... Just one of his own childish fears." Shiro leaned down to Pidge's ear. "He's still afraid of the Willy Wonka movies. They freaked him out as a kid." 

Pidge giggled. The two walked to the dining area, where the rest of the crew was waiting. "There's our girl!" Lance yelled with a sly grin on his face. 

"You're afraid of the Easter Bunny?" Keith asked, but it looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"LAAAAANNNCEEEE!" 

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Maggie: How wholesome! I really like this chapter! Nice and sweet and isn't too chaotic! Well done!

Mercedes: Ahh~ Thank you! Normally you handle most of the writing so hopefully it doesn't differ too much from the other chapters :) Hopefully Easter is fun in quarantine for everyone!!