Voltron Shitpost Oneshots

Emo Lance?

Keith just got done with his hardest training session yet. He was so gross and sweaty that his bangs were sticking to his eyelids, so when he walked in the bathroom he didn't think about the fact that someone might've been in there. What Keith saw was so shocking that he thought it was a nightmare. Lance was standing at the sink applying something dark to his eyes. Not only that, but he was wearing all black clothes, which made Keith wonder if Lance stole them from him.

"Um," Lance said wide-eyed which revealed that the dark substance on his eyes was eyeliner. Keith just stood there not knowing what to say or how to react to the situation. He was like a deer in headlights.

"I-I'm gotta go," Keith sputtered and ran to his room. He opened the door and jumped into bed hoping that this was all just a crazy dream and that Lance wasn't dressed like a long lost member of MCR.

Just then the door to his room opened. In a panicked frenzy, Keith yanked the covers over his head in case it was Lance.

"Hey Keith I nee-" the voice of the stranger said. "Keith why are you poorly hiding under your covers?"

Keith peeled the covers away from his still sweaty face and looked to see Pidge standing in the doorway with her computer in hand and a confused look on her face.

"I'm hiding from Lance," Keith replied with a scared whisper.

"Why?" Pidge asked while walking closer to Keith's hiding spot.

"Because I saw something I probably shouldn't have," Keith admitted.

"Ew! Keith I don't want to hear it!" Pidge shrieked in disgust. It took Keith a second to figure out what she thought he meant.

"No! Ew! Not that!" Keith yelled while his face burned with embarrassment. "I saw Lance applying eyeliner and wearing all black clothes."

"So?" Pidge asked with confused tone.

"Pidge you don't understand! He looked like a member of MCR!" Keith shouted while gripping Pidge's shoulder and shaking her so hard her glasses slipped down her nose.

Pidge readjusted her glassed and smirked. "So your upset because Lance stole your look?"

"What? No! I'm upset because it was like I stepped back into that alternate reality," Keith shouted with an undertone of fear.

"What am I supposed to do about it?" Pidge asked.

"I don't know! Your the genius here!" Keith yelled.

"Yes, but I'm not a psychologist," Pidge said while walking to the door. "So if you'll excuse me I have stuff to do."

Keith grabbed her arm and yanked her onto the area next to him on the bed. "Oh no no no! You're going to help me spy on him to make sure I wasn't seeing things."

"Okay, I'm intrigued. I'll do it on one condition," Pidge said.

"Anything!" Keith shouted desperately.

"You're going to be my guinea pig! Any experiment that requires a living test dummy you do it," Pidge stated.

"Fine. You have yourself a deal," Keith said, but he was scared that Pidge would use him as entertainment. He still held out his hand so they could make the deal final. Pidge happily accepted and shook Keith's hand.

"Pleasure doing business with you! Now go take a shower before I pass out from your BO. You can use the other shower upstairs so you don't have to see Lance," Pidge said while exiting the room. Keith frowned at her comment, but he did as she said and grabbed some extra clothes and trudged to the upstairs shower.