"you're a doctor who cures others yet you can't even cure yourself."
accidentally inseminated with the sperm of her divorced boss, jisoo struggles with a lot of things and her anxiety of sexual intercourse doesn't help at all. so yeah, she's a pre...
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열 여섯 sixteen: will i lose my happiness?
kim jisoo both loved and hated her job. she chose to study psychology and ultimately become a psychologist because she never really understood herself. she never understood her phobia of sexual intercourse or sexual activities or even her phobia of not being able to control a situation. so she thought maybe, if she studied the mind and how the mind works in certain situations then she'd be able to help other people and maybe that might help her help herself to understand how her own mind works.
"so can you tell me what happened?" jisoo asked.
"where do i start?" the little girl who looked no older than 16 spoke.
"the beginning."
"they were my friends. i didn't really have any then all of sudden they appeared and stayed by my side. of course, i accepted them. we went and came back from school together. we knew each other's secrets. then one day, one of them visited my house and when i looked in the mirror he wasn't standing there in the reflection. so i thought it was a little dodgy. my parents have never met them, my brother has never seen them either even though one of them is in his class. then they just disappeared. vanished into thin air. but before that they told me that i stopped drawing."
"you stopped drawing?"
"it was a book i was writing with illustration. they were the illustrations. my mind hallucinated them because i was so desperate for friends. but i refused to believe it because they were really nice to me."
"it's okay, sora." jisoo smiled, handing her a glass of water. "friends are overrated anyway."
the lesson continued on, jisoo asking sora a few more questions before it was time for her to go.
"don't forget to take the medication."
"yes, jisoo. thank you." sora exclaimed before closing the door behind her.
jisoo sighed, a look of empathy washed over her face. she felt sorry for the girl but jisoo could guarantee her recovery of spd. jisoo finished writing her report and before she knew it she was done.
she packed up her things, hanging her coat on the rack. she slung her handbag over her arm and locked the cabinets in her office. just then, there was a knock at the door.
"come in!" she yelled from the inside.
and in walked kim taehyung.
jisoo had a gut feeling that he knew. he knew that she was carrying what could be his baby. this whole week she's trying to avoid him for obvious reasons. she didn't know how to tell him but something told her that he would find out.
"hi." he began.
"hey." she said, sitting back in her seat.
"can we...-" there seemed to be a lump in his throat seeing as he couldn't talk anymore. "talk?"
"sure." she strained a smile, leading him outside and to the nearest café.
none of them ordered anything. they sat across from each other, staring holes into the table that separated them. every time jisoo tried to say something, she was held back. she wasn't quite sure but she wanted to just listen to what taehyung had to say.
"i know." he whispered. "i know about the pregnancy. i'm not mad that you didn't tell me. the doctor told me." he continued to speak, a slight drop in his tone making his voice even deeper.
"i don't understand. i'm confused on how this happened." jisoo's voice cracked, her confusion turning into hurt and pain.
"i guess you want the full story." he ran his fingers through his hair, his forehead being exposed but jisoo was too engrossed in listening to his voice. "the doctor said i couldn't have a baby. that no matter how many times me and sana, my ex-wife, try we will never have a baby. so before things got worse, we took a chance and froze my sperm cells. the hospital had them and when you went there for a check up they were inserted into you."
jisoo buried her head in her hands, hating that all this burden was suddenly thrown on her shoulders. she didn't want to have a baby. if this didn't happen then she would be happy with minho.
"why?" she croaked. "why am i doing this?"
for a second, taehyung thought she was crying but when she raised her head again, it was clear of any fallen tears.
"i'm sorry." he apologised then after a long silence he apologised again.
"it's not your fault." she said.
then came the question taehyung was longing to ask. "it's my last chance to have kid. are you going to have an abortion?" he asked with tears in his eyes.
he so wanted this child to be his. even if jisoo was carrying it and not someone who was his lover. if this baby was no more then taehyung could never experience having a child. him and sana have been wanting to have a child for so long. taehyung loves kids, they're his happiness.
