the pregnant virgin | taesoo

[thirty five]

chaeyoung and jungkook sat on a lonely bench in the park. she had her leg crossed over the other with her hands awkwardly placed over her knee. the blanket of silence that seemed to suffocate them increased chaeyoung's level of anxiety. she wanted him to just say something, anything, to break the streak of silence that was slowly killing them.

after a really long pause, jungkook spoke up. "i um- yo-" he began to stutter before sealing his lips and falling into silence again. but this time as chaeyoung tilted her head slightly to look at him, she noticed his eyebrows furrowed and his nose twitching so subtly. he appeared to be searching for the right words but also a little frustrated for not being able to speak them into an understandable sentence.

"sorry, i um-"

"it's okay. you can take your time." chaeyoung said with a reassuring smile that did more than just reassure him.

he drew in a huge breath and then poured his heart out to the girl. "when lisa cheated on me, i was feeling all different kinds of pain. i thought we were a really strong couple but now looking back i'm beginning to notice all the signs of toxicity that i so blindly dismissed. she wasn't good for me, i wasn't good for her. she probably grew tired of me which led to her leaving me. can't blame her for that." he gave a dry chuckle, pain and sorrow drowning his orbs.

"ju-" chaeyoung was going to say something but he shook his head. this was his time to say everything he wanted to say. responses can be given later.

"i was a hot mess. even during my relationship with lisa. i was so blindly in love and stupid that everything and anyone not related to lisa was just a blur. she became the center of my life, my whole life and schedule revolved around her. she needs me? i'm there in seconds. even if i was busy."

"she controlled my life and sadly i let her. i don't know if it was love or something else but i wasted years of my life with her. that's something i can manage to say now. with her, i thought i was happy. i thought i was enjoying the surprises of life. but turns out life had one last surprise in store for me. it was all fake. all of it. every single second of it. sad, huh."

"it's okay." he shrugged. "i blamed myself for a long while. maybe i was too ugly for her. maybe i chewed too loudly. maybe my muscles were unappealing to her. maybe i was unloveable. maybe she was so embarrassed to be seen with me in public and so jumped on the next wagon. maybe this is all a dream."

"i think i'm over it now. the wound is still fresh but now that i know that all of it wasn't real, i'm okay."

chaeyoung watched him with eyes full of sympathy. her heart ached for him, her cheeks a bright red as she felt anger boil within her but she put a lid on it. now she had to comfort him, not make him relive it all again.

he ran a hand across his face and cleared his throat. "don't you think it's funny. how love absorbs you and blinds you completely, so much so that you don't notice the people around you that were there for you from the start."

jungkook maintained eye contact with chaeyoung, none of them daring to look away. "you, park chaeyoung, are that person for me. you were here for me and i've been such a huge dick. please forgive me, i'm sorry."

"what for?" her words came out as a whisper and if jungkook wasn't as close to her as he was, he wouldn't have heard her.

"for everything. not noticing you when you shine this bright. not returning all the favours you granted me. and for loading all this shit on you when you clearly could do without." his thin lips curved downwards into a frown, he felt guilty.

chaeyoung stood up, brushing off her clothes and jungkook mirrored her moves. she felt her confidence rise through the roof as she snaked her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest.

"chae-" flustered was an understatement to describe jungkook's current state. the hairs on his neck stood up on edge and his whole face was brighter than a fresh tomato. his hands awkwardly remained by his side but then he wrapped them around her engulfing her in warmth.

"i like you. i really really really like you jeon jungkook. and i'm willing to wait for you. however long it takes. just let me be there for you, okay." she felt too embarrassed to lift her head but she did so anyways.

"baby steps?" he smiled at her tenderly.

"baby steps." she said and rested her head back on his chest and held him tighter, inhaling his beautiful cologne that made her go crazy.