Hey, It's Me, Karma (Manileño Series #1)

Chapter 39

Hey, It's Me, Karma

Kiss

I immediately visited Chua High School and Colleges after I recalled my days in that school. I got help from them to have an access. Gustuhin man nilang samahan ako ngunit tinanggihan ko iyon. I went alone thinking I have enough courage to roam around the place freely.

Hindi ko naman masyadong inisip na baka may makakaalala ng mukha ko habang bumibisita. I don't think a lot of people would recall me. Siguro may iilang tanda ang mukha ko. However, I think their mind would only utter the word "familiar" if they get a glimpse of my face. Iyon ay kung papayagan ko iyong mangyari sa akin.

I took precautions in visiting this place. This place might play a significant part of my lost memories. I believe it was the starting point that could lead me to that accident. That's why it's even more dangerous to roam around with my face in display. Hindi ko ito lungga at lalong wala akong mahihingan ng tulong kung sakaling may mangyari man sa akin.

Nakasuot lang ako ng puting t-shirt. It has a V-neckline that revealed a little bit of my cleavage whenever I move. Pinaresan ko lang iyon ng faded jeans at heels. I covered my face with a black mask. Nagsuot din ako ng itim na shades, nagtama iyon sa itaas ng mask ko sa laki ng suot ko. Agaw pansin ako sa suot kahit na sa simpleng damit ngunit mas mainam na iyon sa akin dahil wala naman silang makikita sa mukha ko.

The fear had been swimming and even doing dive inside of me the moment I decided to do this. Ganunpaman ay hindi nito mapipigilan ang kagustuhan kong gawin. It's not only because I needed to do it but because I chose to do this. I wanted to visit the places where my lost memories with Ivan lies. Ang apat na taong importanteng memorya ko kasama si Ivan ay nandito sa lugar nito. I held this place with high regards because this was the place where I met Ivan, this was where we got to know each other and built foundation of our love.

It was also advised to me by Doctor Fritzy, to visit places I've been before. It's a natural way of getting back your lost memories, by triggering all the five senses and by being present of what was supposed to be the past. Even people who hadn't lost their memories and only forgotten fragments of their lives because of time time, or people who had little to no important memories they want to recall get deja vu through their five senses after it's being triggered. How much more to people of my case. Aside from our deepest desperation, we considered all of our memories important.

After being kept in the dark, you'd want to see moving figures. The desperation and fear we felt would make us long for other people's presence. However, waking up with nothing to remember, not even your own name was even scarier. After escaping the dark and realizing that you still have nothing would make you treasure the memories you make and the memories you can restore.

All of my memories were important to me. Without it, I'd still feel incomplete and lost even with the new memories I made. I'd still look for it and long for it. Most especially because I have questions that needed to be answered. My memories could create a pathway that could lead me to the answers of that incident. It's also the broken pieces that would complete my empty spots.

My memories were only fragments but I felt relief in it. Depite its lapses, they're leading me to the right destination. I am certain that I am riding the right wave and I am turning to the right corners. Kahit hindi ko kaagad makuha ang lahat ay sapat na iyon para hindi ako maligaw sa ptutunguhan. I'm not going to get too greedy this time. It's fine as long as it would lead me somewhere.

Naglibot-libot lang ako sa malaking Campus. Wala namang nakakilala sa akin at malimit lamang ang mga estudyante lalo na at pumasok ako sa school hours. Madalas namin kasi kapag nagkakaroon ng free time ay sumisilong ang mga estudyante kung saan para sulitin ang libreng oras sa pag-aaral. College days were hectic even your free time would be eaten.