Amnesia • hemmings

2.3 - Viv

Luke was getting better. Or, I thought he was. He seems a lot happier.

But then I found him.

"Oh yeah, honey, he's in his room. You can go on up." Liz smiled.

I jogged up the stairs, walking straight into Luke's room.

His head shot up, and he wiped at his eyes and sniffled quickly.

"Luke, what are you doing?" I gasped.

He had a razor and a couple of pills in front him, and he was sobbing, messing with his old scabs and scars, poking at them and staring at them.

"Viv, I-I don't know, I just- I didn't- I swear- God, I'm so-" He kept cutting himself off, then he just stopped, crying again.

I ran to the bed, quickly hugging Luke as his head fell onto my shoulder and he sobbed.

"You didn't do anything, did you?" I asked quietly.

"No." He sobbed, shaking his head against my shoulder as his grip around my waist remained.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

He sat up, wiping at his eyes more. "I'm sure. All I did was stare at them."

"Why are they here?" I asked, grabbing them.

"I just got really really sad," he said as tears still fell down his face, "I got really sad, and I got these and sat on my bed, then I realized how terrible this was, and I thought of you, and I couldn't touch them. I couldn't touch them at all, so I left them there. I knew that if I touched them, even if only to put them away or throw them away, I would want to use them. They just stared at me, they were begging me, right in front of me. And I was too scared to leave the room, I couldn't move from my bed. So, I stayed here. I was really tempted, and it was scaring me because I couldn't do anything. That's why I wasn't answering you, my phone is on my desk and I couldn't get up to get it, because these things were staring at me."

"Oh, Hemmo..." I sighed, fixing his hair a little. I grabbed the pills and razor, standing up.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Throwing these away." I said, walking to his trash can.

"Viv, no-" I cut him off.

"Luke." I almost snapped, turning around to face him with the items still in my hand.

"Vivian." He pleaded.

"Do you want to get any better?" I asked.

"Yes, but-" He stopped.

"But what? Luke, do you want to get better?" I asked again.

"Yes." He said quietly, playing with his fingers as he looked in his lap.

"I'm throwing these away." I said, tossing them into the trash can.

+

We did nothing that day, except walk to Starbucks.

I stayed at Luke's house the rest of the day, and we sat in his room, talking about things like tattoos, school, the future, deaths, and everything else.

"Hello?" I said into my phone.

"Vivian, are you still at Luke's house?" Ashton asked.

"Yeah, we just got back from Starbucks a few minutes ago." I shrugged.

"Are you staying over there?" He asked.

"Um, hold on." I turned to Luke. "Hemmo, am I staying tonight?"

"Yeah, if you want." He smiled.

"Yeah, I am. Why?" I asked Ashton.

"Mum just wanted to know. You've been gone almost all day, we were wondering where you were."

"Oh, well, I'll be back tomorrow."

"Oh, okay. Well, goodnight, then. See you tomorrow." He said.

"Goodnight." I said, hanging up the phone.

"Why was he asking?" Luke turned to me.

"I don't know. Protective older brother, I guess." I laughed.

Then we heard a knock at the door.

"Vivian, are you staying tonight?" Liz asked. Yeah, I guess I stayed over a lot.

"Yeah, I am."

"Okay, well I'm going to bed, so don't talk so loud. Goodnight." She smiled, shutting the door.

"Night, Mom." Luke said before the door closed.

"Okay, that was a fast decision." I laughed.

"Yeah, and since it's already midnight, and you're staying over..." He trailed off, standing up from the desk chair as he climbed on top of my in the middle of his bed.

"Hemmo." I giggled as he started to kiss my neck sweetly.

"Viv." He mocked me, lips still pressed to my neck, making his voice muffled.

+

((luke's pov now whoops))

"I love you." She whispered, falling asleep seconds later as I kissed her forehead.

"I love you more."

I got out of bed, picking up a piece of paper and a pen.

Viv,

I love you, so much. More than you could ever think. You literally saved my life. I would've died a long time ago if it weren't for you. I met a few amazing people, my mom was better, for a while, and I was better.

For a while.

I'm sorry.

I just want you to know, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You literally saved my life.

I have to go.

I love you, so much.

And I'm sorry.

Hemmo.

I then got the small love knot ring out of my desk, leaving it in the box as I tried not to cry.

I knew I was doing this.

I left a note for my mum, too, with a necklace she said she always wanted.

I slowly grabbed my phone and earbuds, walking out of the house quietly.

I was going to walk to the bridge. I decided yesterday, the bridge was going to be the way to go. It wasn't very far from my house, it was only about a mile from my school, which was a mile from my house. Getting there would take a little over half an hour if I walked fast enough, but I wanted to enjoy the short time I had. I passed the Starbucks that Viv and I had just been to hours ago, and I stopped in front of my school. I stayed there for a little bit, remembering all of the things that happened there. Then, I cried. I sat in front of my school and cried. I stayed there for about 5 minutes, crying, then stood up, continuing to walk slowly.

Halfway there.

+

SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE A BILLION YEARS AND PUTTING THIS ON HOLD BUT I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE AND NOW I DO SO HERE YOU GO

SORRY

ILY