-A Time Before Now-

-JustARun-

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The cries were what kept me up, I thought it was Addie. The first couple, but the way Dixon was holding me, every time the baby let out a cry. He would hold me tighter, almost like he knew I wanted to leave to follow the sounds. 
But at one point or another it just became an involuntary move on his behalf. My eyes just stared pinned to the wall, but finally, as his muscles set a release from the last time she cried, I was able to remove myself from his hold to get a start on the day. He wasn't going to wake up either, the way he just slumped down told me that so easily.

So with my boots on and a new pants to hide my legs did I rush downstairs so quietly, seeing Beth holding the baby in her arms and trying to feed her once again. "Morning." She smiled, looking to me and then returned her glance with the baby. Taking the seat beside her did she offer the child towards me, but I shook my head.

I don't want to resent the child, but something in me is screaming to look away. 
How can I be so heartless and not love this child, Lori told me to love her like she is my own. And I'm doing a dishonest deed to Addie, but Addie would want me to do it. So when I motioned for her to hand me the child, she was excited to do so.

She tried instructing me, but then realized I'm the one with the experience. The foster kids, my own, Carl...Joey and Mikey. The long list would crowd up the entire day trying to remember them all.

"She likes you." I smiled at the silly little girl, taking her bib in one hand as I wiped the access milk away from her mouth. "How many times did she cry last night?"