"I need to talk to Dawson today." I told Daryl. I just got out of the shower and Daryl was waiting for me.
"It's going to take a lot to get through to him." He commented.
"I know. I don't think he's even going to be able to look at me. I regret it, I really do. But in the moment, the rage. And I know I'll never be able to take it back, and no one at Alexandria will forgive me, but I can't turn into my dad." I ranted. Daryl walked over to me from where he sat on the bed and gave me a reassuring hug.
"I'm going to stay here, go find your brother, make things right." He nodded. I gave him a kiss goodbye and walked out the door to my brother's room. The walk to his room was long and dreadful. I had no idea what I was going to say to him. He was so vulnerable to me, telling me how scared he was of my dad. I was the only person he trusted it, and I ruined it, not even 48 hours after we reunited. I stood in front of his door, hesitant to knock but I knew I needed to do it. I knocked lightly. No answer. "Dawson?" I asked. There was no reply. I tried to open the door and it was locked, indicating he wasn't here. I huffed in defeat and headed to the courtyard. On my way there I passed the man I learned to be Simon. I figured as one of my dad's right hand men, he'd knew where Dawson was. "Do you know where my brother is?" I asked.
"Outside with Negan in the yard." He mumbled.
"Thanks." I returned, quietly. I could tell he didn't like me, or maybe he was just a natural asshole. I ignored it and continued towards the courtyard. As I pushed open the doors, I immediately spotted my dad and Dawson. I also noticed that everyone immediately kneeled for me. I only saw them do that when my dad walked into the room. I glanced around confused and looked at my dad for answers. He gave a proud smile before speaking.
"You may stand." I walked over to my dad and gave him a questioning look.
"What was that about?"
"That is a sign of respect, power. You deserve it for what you did for us last night." Did he just tell me that because I killed a man, that made me someone to respect?
"No, I don't need that type of treatment. I don't want them to see me that way." I spoke.
"Take it as an honor, Ro. You're one of us now." My dad smiled. I just shook my head at him.
"No, dad. I can't be looked at this way. Dad I'm sorry, I'm not you." I admitted. His eyes grew dark.
"What do you mean not like me? Face it, Rowan. You already are like me. You're my daughter for god's sake." He laughed, menacingly. "You should be grateful these people kneel for you, after all, you've only been here two days."
"Are you going to hold it against me for the rest of my life that I left you guys? That I wanted to make a name for myself? I'm sorry I didn't stay in Georgia dad. God forbid, I wanted a good education and become a doctor. Have you given Dawson this lecture too? When are you going to stop being so selfish that Dawson and I wanted to leave that shit town and not turn out like you. Clearly you see how well that worked out for all of us." I said, sternly. I've been holding that in for years. My dad has always been against Dawson and I leaving Georgia. He always wanted us to go to school there, where my mom taught, then move back home and work under him. He was just mad that we didn't follow his goals for us.
"Don't you talk to me like that in front of my people." He threatened.
"What are you going to do? Bash my head in like you do with everyone else when you get angry? Don't let it stop you just because I'm your daughter. No wonder mom was scared of you, you named a fucking bat after her and used it to kill people." I spat. It felt so good to get this out, but I knew I was pushing him. I also knew he never would do anything to me, no matter what. It made it that much easier to get my anger out that I've been holding in for so long. I thought being reunited with him would make things better. But now I've learned he's just an asshole. Sure, I took after him in a lot of ways; hell, I get my anger from him, clearly.
"You need to go, come on." Dawson spoke up and pulled me through the courtyard. As soon as we broke apart everyone started doing what they were before so they wouldn't get in trouble with my dad. I looked back at my dad before going inside and gave him a middle finger with a grin spread across my face. Daryl stood at the entrance of the courtyard, shaking his head at me in disapproval. He's never seen me act like this before.
