Finally Home (KPOP Fan Fiction)

SNEAK PEAK

SNEAK PEAK

 

                My body begged for me to go to sleep, but my brain refused.  I could feel my tears endlessly stream down my eyes, leaving stains on my silk pillows.  I feel like a huge mess and I was heaving painfully as I cried.  I’ve been crying for the past few weeks and it’s driving me insane.

                I miss you.  I miss them.  I miss all three of you so much and it’s tearing me apart from the inside-out.  I pulled my duvet over my head as I buried my face in my pillow, wanting sleep to consume me so I don’t get only two hours of sleep again.

                After a few more minutes, my crying stopped and my breathing was ragged.  I wouldn’t stop clenching my bed sheets as I pushed myself up, my hair falling all around my face.  I’m not going to get sleep tonight.  I’ll be facing another day at college drinking about five cups of coffee to keep me awake.

                How the hell I’m passing my classes, I have no idea.

                I stared at the darkness ahead of me, the spaces around me slowly beginning to close in.  I bought this one-room apartment that’s fairly large just for me because it’s only three blocks down from my college.  It’ll also be easier for me to visit Haru and Luna without having to violate the dorm curfew if it does happen.

                At least, I thought it’d be easier.

                I didn’t realize that I’d be bombarded with endless hours of school work that takes up all my free time.  It’s practically impossible for me to visit my children and having to keep it a secret for a short while.  It’s almost certain that I might get kicked out if word spreads that I have children and…it’ll taint Baekhyun’s world-famous fame when they find out that he’s the father.

                Baekhyun debuted a month after we graduated, and after that I never saw him.  I’ve never even talked to him let alone received a text from him.  I’ve given up trying to contact him and leaving him voicemails, because I have concluded that it’s completely futile.  I understand that his schedules are tight and he doesn’t get as much sleep as me, but it would mean the world to me if he called and asked about Haru and Luna.

                It’s really pathetic that I’m crying over this, let alone get the best of me.  I can’t even make friends properly because I don’t want to seem unfaithful to Baekhyun.  I don’t want my deep longing to hear his voice talking to just me make me do anything irrational. 

                I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest, my eyes growing heavy as I thought more.  I’m not sure that it’s the fear that we can’t work out anymore or I just really miss him.  I want him to be a part of Haru and Luna’s lives and if we aren’t able to work out anymore, I’m not sure I’d let him.  I don’t want his fans hurting our children if they happen to find out about them.

                His entire fan base believes he is single and ready to mingle, I know that for a fact.  I’ve watch enough interviews to know that he is keeping our relationship a complete secret.  I could care less if they knew I was dating him.  I would accept all the hate but I’d do anything to protect Haru and Luna.

                I guess Baekhyun would do the same thing.

               

                I didn’t realize I suddenly fell asleep until I heard my alarm ringing loudly in my room, causing me to jump right away.  Groaning, I crawled towards my bedside table and grabbed my phone, turning off the alarm.  I still felt like complete and utter shit from last night.